Wanderlust - Chapter 13: Chapter 13

Tanden woke up groggy and angry at himself. He sat up slowly, trying to ignore the pounding in his head. It was very bright in the room, which meant he had overslept and the crew would be waiting, confused, on the Wanderlust. Tanden closed his eyes and groaned.
"Here, Captain." Soren appeared beside him and pressed a cup of water into his hand. Tanden opened his eyes to glare at Soren for the intrusion, but drank the water obediently. When he held out the cup Soren refilled it instead of taking it. Carefully, Tanden shuffled backwards so he could lean against the headboard. He held the cup in two hands and sipped it slowly.
It didn't escape his notice that, aside for his jacket, boots and belt, he was wearing the same clothing as he had to the feast. His memories from the night before were hazy, but he could rule out at least one activity. Soren was also wearing the same clothing, but he'd taken off his vest and rolled up the sleeves of his tunic.
Tanden cleared his throat and took another sip of water. "What happened?"
"You don't remember?"
Tanden sighed heavily. "I remember dancing with Clairia, and I remember talking to you. Sit down. Tell me what happened. What did I do?"
Soren sat on the edge of the bed. He held the water jug on his lap. "You didn't do anything, exactly. I dragged you up here before you could," he said. "But you went on about it wasn't fair that you couldn't kiss me and how people wouldn't judge you because you're a lord, but they'd hurt me. You were pretty insistent that I'd get hurt."
Parts of the conversation with Clairia were coming back. "Oh. That would be because Clairia told me I should ask you to dance."
"I... uh... didn't know you could dance."
"I'm a lord, Soren. Of course I can dance. What else did I say?"
"Not much." Soren shifted how he was sitting. Did he look uncomfortable? Tanden shook his head in an attempt to clear it and instantly regretted it. Soren continued, "You mentioned a knight. Sir Atricell."
Tanden chuckled. "I think about Acell every time I'm in West Draulin. Not surprised I'd bring him up. And then?"
"You got distracted by tattoos for a bit. I told you you could see mine if you came along, and I managed to get you up here. Then you goaded me into saying that you're—" Soren glanced away. "—my lover. And then you lay down and went to sleep."
"Well, sorry to have put you through that, mate." Tanden leaned forward so Soren could refill his cup. "See, I try not to get drunk. Especially not in West Draulin. I need to be careful here. Any indiscretion could be seen and reflect badly on my family. I'm enough of a burden as I am, no need to fuel the flames of disrespect. So... thank you for dragging me up here. Now, I should probably find Rael and apologize for heading out early."
"It wasn't that early, and I asked a servant to let him know you'd gone to bed. Can I ask something?"
Tanden nodded. As much as he wanted to get the conversation with his brother over with, getting out of bed seemed far too difficult. It was easier to sit and talk.
Soren stared down at the water jug. "You said that Sir Atricell was fun, but that I'm better. Why am I better?" His gaze flicked up quickly before nervously dropping again. "I just mean... last night you implied that it's because I'm a Crelan."
"Oh, no. Soren, mate, Acell was fun. But it was all physical. There was a period of time I'd drag him in here whenever I had a chance. But we weren't friends in the way you and I are. He was one of my knights. He wanted to be in the army and defend people – admirable ambitions, of course, I'm not trying to imply that I disapprove. But I dismissed him and all of my knights because they had no interest in exploring the world with me. You do. I can tell you're genuinely interested when I spout facts about wherever we happen to be. Most people ignore me, but not you. That's why you're better. I enjoy sleeping with you, of course. But I also enjoy talking to you, walking through new cities with you, spending time with you. And on top of all that, you play along with the game and you taunt me back. It's not just because you're a Crelan."
Soren nodded slowly. There was a moment of silence before he softly said. "Did he want to be with you?"
"I don't think he believed it would last, but at the time he enjoyed it," Tanden said. "Actually, the whole thing started because I caught him watching me undress a little too closely. Honestly, I was surprised it lasted as long as it did. My brothers..." he paused and chuckled at the memory. "They walked in on us. Well, more like they burst in. Tandar quite literally kicked the door open, because they'd heard me... being vocal, and they thought I was in trouble. Poor Acell probably thought he was going to be beheaded on the spot. He flung himself to his knees and begged my brothers to forgive him. You know what happened? Rael looked at me and said 'come to dinner once you're done'. Then he pulled Tandar out and left us alone. I explained everything to them that night. They just told me to be careful." Tanden drank some more water. "Have you ever told anyone?"
Soren shook his head. "Reckon I didn't really understand what I wanted until I had feelings for my old captain," he said. "And I tried to ignore that at first."
"But you said you'd been with someone else."
"Aye, a random sailor in a tavern one night in Zianna. Doesn't count for much."
"What do you mean?"
Soren sighed. "You're so experienced. Reckon part of the reason I'm interesting is because I'm not experienced."
"A very small part." Tanden finally decided it was time to get up. He swung his feet over the side of the bed and stood, resting his hand on the headboard to steady himself. "You know what could be fun," he said, trying to ignore the renewed pounding in his head. "Finding Acell. He wouldn't say no to an evening with us."
"Us?"
Tanden hadn't realized he'd closed his eyes until they shot open. "Is that not something that interests you, mate?"
Soren looked confused, and possibly hurt. "I thought we were... committed to each other."
"Monogamous? I've never been monogamous. Not for long, at least." Tanden closed his eyes again and tightened his grip on the headboard. "One day – not yet, I won't push – I would like to include someone in the game. Not in any permanent capacity. One night, here and there. Acell or a prostitute or anyone else. Man or woman, I don't care. I just think it would be fun and new. Do you think you could manage that? Something to think about, at least. Now... I'm going to need your help changing. And possibly walking."
The swaying of the ship was almost too much, but after some food Tanden was feeling well enough to fake that he was fine. He made his usual announcement, welcoming his sailors back to the ship and reminding them that they were headed to Crele. Then he stood beside the helm, barely paying attention as Soren shouted out orders and got the Wanderlust out into the bay.
Tanden couldn't shake the feeling that he was missing something from the night before. Soren's recapitulation had seemed thorough enough, but it hadn't escaped Tanden's notice that he was in the very position he'd let Soren suffer through. Admittedly, he had kept what could be considered important information from the night in Deor-Morcea quiet, and it wouldn't have surprised him at all if Soren was doing the same to him.
He finally pushed the worry aside, knowing there wasn't much he could do about it at the time. They had cleared the port and were following the abrupt cliffs that made up the coastline of New Teltar. High above them were the walls of the fortress, and high above even those was the cannon tower. The cannon hadn't worked in Tanden's lifetime, or even his grandfather's. No one knew exactly when or why it had stopped working, but it was a relic from Teltar Proper so it stayed in place. A useless guardian, but an interesting one.
Tanden stared at it as it slowly got smaller. The wind was in their favour and they were making excellent time. He only wished he felt well enough to enjoy it. Something suddenly occurred to him and Tanden turned to face the helm. "Soren?"
Soren stood with an arm lightly draped over the helm to keep it steady. He looked very comfortable there. "Aye?"
"You have family in Crele?"
Soren glanced up as he thought, as if the sky would have the answer to the question. "Aye, some cousins. Don't really care to visit them. We're not close."
"So..." Tanden nearly lost his balance as a particularly large wave bumped the Wanderlust. He grabbed for the helm but his hand landed on Soren's arm instead.
"All right, Captain?"
"I will be. Vosh would have stopped me from drinking much earlier than you did."
"You didn't tell me I had to stop you."
Tanden shook his head. "No. An observation, not an accusation. Next time, mate. What was I saying? Right, Crele. So if you're not interested in visiting your cousins, I want you to take me to get a tattoo. And I want a room in a tavern."
"Aye. Expected as much."
Tanden smiled. "Good. You understand me. I'm going to go into my quarters and sleep, so... wake me up if anything happens."
Soren's eyes went wide. "You're leaving me alone. In charge?"
"The Wanderlust's in good hands, mate." Tanden reached up to pat Soren's cheek, and instantly wondered why. "You can handle her." He muttered, and left before Soren could argue.
A lot of Crelans claimed that when they got to Crele, they felt at home, even if they'd never been there before. Soren had never felt that. There was a definite connection, and he always felt welcomed, but not at home. Crelans were universally friendly to each other, and the ones on the Island were no exception. However, they did harbour quiet judgement towards Crelans they deemed "too Teltish", which basically meant anyone who hadn't been born on the Island and spoke High Crelan Teltish. Every time he'd visited Crele, Soren had found that he needed to put on the accent more than he naturally would in order to fit in.
Despite that, he still loved the Island, and as they got nearer he allowed himself to get caught up in the excitement. Co, the largest city on Crele, was always a bustling place, where an old Crelan town had sprawled into a Teltish city. The area around the port was made up of small buildings and rickety wooden walkways. Nearly everything close to the water sat on thick stilts to offer some protection against waves and the tides. Behind the Crelan town, higher on the hill, were the stone buildings from the Teltans. The citadel loomed above it all, where Lord Co lived with his family.
Soren stood beside Tanden on the quarter deck as they sailed into the port. Somehow, Tanden always seemed to know where the Wanderlust was allowed to moor. They glided gently next to one of the larger piers, and a handful of men hopped over the side to secure her. Soren followed Tanden as he went to make his speech on the bulwark.
"I hardly need to welcome you lot to Crele," he said, over the cheers of the sailors. "Those of you who aren't Crelan, have no fear, the taverns greet everyone! I'll see you in a week!" He jumped off of the bulwark and disappeared into his quarters instantly.
Soren was about to follow him when he was cut off by Jerios and Ivern. "Roan's going to show us around the city," Ivern explained. "Are you off or are you with the Captain?"
Caught off guard, Soren faltered before answering, "I need to help him with something first. Reckon I'll be able to spend time with you later in the week."
"Will you?" Jerios asked. "You haven't had much free time since you agreed to be first mate."
"I know, sorry mates. There's just been a lot to do, is all. Maybe..." he hesitated thoughtfully. Tanden liked his sailors and they liked him, there was no reason they couldn't all have a drink together. "Maybe I'll see if me and the Captain can meet you this evening. It'd be nice for him to have a break, too."
His friends glanced at each other and nodded. "All right. An evening with the captain could be fun." Ivern smiled. "What's he like drunk? We've never seen him drunk, but I know you have. He was very hungover the day we left West Draulin."
Soren was torn between telling some version of the truth, or telling a complete lie. He settled for a half-truth. "Honestly, mate, I didn't spend that much time with him when he was drunk. Just walked him to his chamber, really."
"Well... doubt we'll see him like that tonight," Ivern said.
"Aye, doubt it," Soren agreed. He noticed Roan approaching and nodded at him. "I said I'd meet you three later. You're taking them to the Kipper?"
"Aye, 'course I am," Roan replied.
"Perfect. I'll find you later. Have a good day, mates." Soren stepped away from the group and went to Tanden's door. He hesitated before knocking, then made up his mind and slipped through the door without announcing himself.
Tanden was leaning over his desk, scribbling on a piece of parchment. He didn't even look up. Soren walked over to see what he was working on. The drawing was roughly shaped like a back, and Tanden was adding swirls around the word Wanderlust, which he'd written in the middle in a flowing script. Between the swirls were tiny words. Soren had to lean closer to read them.
"Zianna, Deorun, Navire, West Draulin, Morcea..."
Tanden glanced up and grinned. "I was thinking that every time I go to a new place, I'll get the name added to my back." He ran his hand lightly over one of the dried sections of the drawing. "This will be easy to hide. Pity I won't actually be able to see it."
"So you just want it on your back?"
"I think that'll be the best course of action. For now, at least. Maybe I'll add more later, who knows. What about you? Are you going to have anything added to yours?"
Soren hadn't put any thought into adding to his tattoo, but the idea wasn't a bad one. He'd gotten his arms done in an attempt to impress Toliver, after all, so what was the harm in adding more to impress Tanden? "Suppose I could. There's a special type of blue ink in Co, but it's expensive."
Tanden's face lit up. "I'll pay."
"I didn't mean that I can't—"
"I'll pay," Tanden insisted. He moved to face Soren, his own drawing forgotten. "Where will you put it?"
Soren hesitated only because he didn't actually know. "Reckon on my arms. Usually people just get some of the swirls touched up with some blue."
"Sounds absolutely gorgeous. Do it."
Soren allowed himself a chuckle. Tanden was so excited it was almost endearing, if someone could describe Tanden with such a word. "Aye, Captain. If you'd like."
"I would," Tanden agreed. "I'd love it."
Love. The word shook Soren from the moment. He'd tried very hard to not dwell on Tanden's admission. He'd been so drunk, it probably hadn't meant anything anyway. And the captain had said "might". I might love you. What did that mean? Did it mean Tanden wasn't sure, or was it just part of the game? His convoluted way of speaking, meant to confuse Soren. After all, he'd once said he was probably being confusing on purpose when he certainly had been. It was too late to ask for clarification, anyway, since Soren hadn't even told Tanden what he'd said. He just wanted Tanden to say it again, but while clearheaded. He cleared his throat, suddenly realizing that he'd been quiet for a second too long and Tanden was looking confused.
"Then I'll do it," Soren nodded.
"Perfect," Tanden grinned. "Let's go now. You know a good place, right?" He picked up his drawing and waved it to dry it off. "How long do you think it'll take?"
"Couple days."
"What?"
Soren shrugged. "You want it pretty big, don't you? It'll take a while. And they make you take breaks. I told Ivern, Jerios and Roan that we might meet them at a tavern tonight, so that'll be a nice break."
"Fine. Then we need to get started as soon as possible. Let's go."