Where I Belong - Chapter 11: Chapter 11

I poked at my cereal, watching the flakes slowly sink into the milk, one by one. I wasn't hungry, but today, especially, it felt like the heaviness in my chest was making it even harder to swallow. Every bite felt like I was forcing myself to do something I wasn't allowed to. Every tiny movement of my spoon was a struggle.
"Morning, Livy," Eros said, quietly, like he wasn't expecting much of a response.
I glanced up, meeting his eyes for the briefest moment. He was standing in the doorway, his arms casually crossed across his chest.
I smiled. "Morning," I whispered back, making a hint of a smile appear on his lips.
Elijah, who had been quietly drinking his coffee across the table, glanced up at the exchange. His warm eyes locked onto mine for just a second, and there was a soft, knowing smile on his face. It was almost like he remembered the way Eros used to call me Livy when we were kids.
"Olivia, you're going with Theo today," Zane announced, cutting through the moment like a knife.
My spoon froze halfway to my mouth. I hadn't even noticed Zane walk in.
Theo. My stomach twisted just hearing his name. With Theo, it was like I was always out of my depth. He's so...cool, never seeming phased by anything, and I felt like I was constantly trying to catch up, to be enough.
Silas, who at some point came and sit down with me, had been listening to the conversation and grinned at me from the other side of the table. "You're gonna be fine, Liv," he said in his usual light-hearted tone. "Theo's not as intimidating as he looks. You're probably going to just hang out with him, punch some bags, lift some weights, try not to trip over your own feet. It's basically a free gym session," he wiggled his eyebrows. "Free as in you do all the work, and Theo just looks like he's going to destroy the world with his muscles."
I gave him a small smile. His words helping me a lot more than he thought.
He leaned in, whispering so only I could hear, "If he starts acting like an idiot, I'll come rescue you, I swear."
The tension in my chest eased just a little, but the nerves were still there. The thought of being with Theo for the whole day felt like stepping into a room full of sharp corners. I didn't know what to say or how to act, and I wasn't sure I could just be around him.
At that moment, Theo walked into the kitchen, and all the noise in the room seemed to fall away. His presence was too large, too imposing, like he had his own gravitational pull. He didn't say anything, just slid into the space at the counter like it belonged to him. His eyes flicked over the room, briefly landing on me.
"You ready?" Theo asked.
I swallowed hard, trying to control my racing thoughts, and gave him a hesitant nod.
Theo didn't say anything as we walked outside to the car. He opened the door for me, then got in and started the engine. We drove in silence, and I couldn't bring myself to break it.
As soon as the boxing studio came to view, I started to become more anxious. The gym seemed large and intimidating, a place which felt like Theo's world. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do here. I definitely didn't belong here. My body felt tense even thinking about hitting a punching bag.
The car came to a stop outside the building, and Theo shut the engine off. He turned towards me, glancing at me briefly before he opened the door and stepped out. I followed, not knowing what else to do.
"Let's get this over with," Theo said, his tone a little softer than usual as he reached for the gym door. He slid the key in and unlocked it, the sound of the lock clicking echoing in the empty space. The door creaked open, and we stepped inside.
The gym was quiet. The smell of rubber filled the air. The only sound was the faint hum of the overhead lights. The place was empty, which made it even more intimidating than I expected. There were punching bags hanging from the ceiling, a boxing ring off to the side, and weights scattered around, but no one else. I swallowed nervously.
Theo glanced at me, then walked further into the gym, heading for the front desk to drop off his bag. "I open up early for the quiet. When the others get here, it's a madhouse."
I wasn't sure how to respond, so I just followed him in silence. Everything felt too big.
I looked around the gym, feeling a wave of self-consciousness wash over me. I didn't know the first thing about this world. His world.
Theo noticed me looking around and raised an eyebrow. "You okay?"
I nodded quickly, though I wasn't entirely sure myself. "Yeah. Just...it's a lot bigger than I thought."
Theo chuckled under his breath. "It's a gym, Olivia. It's supposed to be big."
I forced a small smile, but it didn't quite reach my eyes. I was trying to relax, but every inch of this place made me feel more and more out of place.
"You know," Theo continued, his tone a little more serious now, "you don't have to do anything here. Zane just didn't want you to be home alone. I'm not gonna make you work out or anything."
The idea of being here, sitting in a corner and doing nothing, seemed even worse than the alternative. My mind started to race again. I wasn't sure if I was more anxious about being in the gym or being alone in my own head.
"I don't want to just sit here," I blurted out before I could stop myself. My voice sounded too loud in the stillness of the gym. "I mean, I don't know...I just don't want to be useless."
Theo turned to me, his expression unreadable for a moment, but then he raised an eyebrow. "Useless?"
I shifted awkwardly, my eyes on the floor. "Yeah, like...you're here to work, and I'm just...here. I don't know how to...fit in. I don't really belong in a gym."
Theo leaned against a nearby counter, crossing his arms as he considered me. "Alright, Olivia, I get it. But you don't have to be a boxer to learn a thing or two about how to protect yourself."
I looked up at him, surprised.
"Self-defense," Theo said, the edges of his mouth twitching upward. "You're not here for a lesson, but I could show you some basic stuff. Just in case."
I blinked, confused. "Self-defense? You want to teach me how to fight?"
"Not fight," he said, shaking his head. "More like how to protect yourself. And it's not about strength. It's about knowing what to do when someone gets too close."
"I think I'd like to learn that," I said quietly, almost to myself.
Theo nodded, his expression softening. "Alright. We'll start simple, then. The basics. I'm not going to make you throw punches right away."
I gave him a tentative smile. I wouldn't know how to throw punches anyway.
"Let's start with your stance," he began. He showed me how to position my feet, shoulder-width apart and knees slightly bent.
"You want to keep your balance," Theo explained. "If you can't stay balanced, then you can't move properly. If someone grabs you or tries to push you, you won't be able to get away."
I tried to mirror his stance, awkwardly shifting my feet. Theo nodded approvingly. "Good. Don't lock your knees. Stay loose, ready to move."
It felt strange at first, but the more I focused, the more my body seemed to fall into it.
"Now, hands up," Theo continued, demonstrating with his arms held in front of his face. "You want to protect yourself – your face, your chest. If someone tries to punch you, block it with your arms."
I raised my arms, mimicking him, though it felt weird to have my hands up like that, like I was bracing for something bad to happen. But Theo didn't look at me like I was doing it wrong. He gave me a small, approving nod.
"Perfect," he said. "Now let's work on a simple strike. The palm strike."
He demonstrated by pushing his hand toward the air, not hitting anything, but using the heel of his palm as if pushing something away.
"Don't try to hit hard, just focus on where your hand is landing. The goal is to make space, to get them away from you."
I took a deep breath and copied his movement. It didn't feel natural at first, but the more I focused, the easier it became.
"You've got the idea," Theo said after I tried a few more times. "The key is to stay calm and make the right move. You don't need to fight anyone. You just need to know how to protect yourself."
I nodded, feeling a little better about this whole thing. My body wasn't perfect, but it was learning.
"You're doing great," Theo said. "And it's not about strength, Olivia. You don't need to be big or tough. It's all about using your body right. Knowing what to do when things happen."
I felt a little more at ease, though my nerves hadn't completely gone away. But at least I was doing something. At least I was learning how to protect myself, how to stand my ground in this strange world where I sometimes felt so out of place.
I looked up at Theo, who was watching me more carefully now. "Thanks," I said, my voice quieter than usual.
"Anytime," he said with a grin. "You ever want to learn more, I've got plenty more to teach you."
Theo and I had barely finished off the basics before the first person arrived.
The gym door creaked open, and I looked up to see a tall man with tattoos covering both his arms step inside. He was carrying a gym bag slung over his shoulder, when he saw Theo, his face lit up with a grin.
"Yo, Theo," the man called out, his voice loud and cheerful.
Theo turned, a smile tugging on his lips too. "Morning, man. You're early as usual."
The guy chuckled, dropping his bag on the bench. "Can't help it. Gotta get my session in before the chaos starts."
I shifted uncomfortably, feeling the space around me suddenly shrink as I realized this wasn't going to stay quiet for long. I wasn't really part of this world, not in the way they were. People who were here to train, to sweat, to push themselves.
"Olivia," Theo said, catching my glance and sensing my hesitation. "This is Jake. Jake, this is my sister, Olivia."
I offered a small wave, and Jake gave me a nod, not missing a beat.
"Hey, nice to meet you," he said casually before looking over at Theo. "You doing the usual morning drill today?"
Theo nodded. "Yeah, warm-ups for everyone, then we'll hit the bags."
From then, the gym started to fill up quickly. The sound of the door opening and closing, the soft clatter of gym bags hitting the floor, and the low murmur of conversation all seemed to press in on me at once. More people, more noise, more movement. I felt small, out of place, like I didn't belong here.
Theo had been talking to a few of the new arrivals, guiding them to different stations, but his gaze flickered over to me every so often. I could tell he was aware of my discomfort. It wasn't hard to notice. I was standing in the corner, fidgeting with the sleeve of my hoodie, trying to look like I belonged while wishing I was anywhere else.
Looking up, I saw Theo walk towards me. He approached me quietly, his expression unreadable for a second before I softened into something more understanding.
"You okay?" His voice was low, but it cut through the noise around us like a calm anchor.
I looked up, startled for a moment, but then I nodded quickly, pushing back the tight feeling in my chest. "Yeah, I'm fine."
Theo raised an eyebrow, as if he didn't buy it for a second. "You're sure? You don't have to stay here if it's too much. It's not really...quiet here, is it?"
I shrugged, trying to brush it off. I didn't want to be an inconvenience.
"Come on, let's get you out of here for a bit," he said.
I wasn't sure what he meant at first, but I followed him as he led me toward the back of the gym, past the training mats and into a quieter hallway. The noise from the gym faded as we moved farther away. Finally, Theo opened a door and stepped inside, gesturing for me to follow.
"This is my office," he said, his tone still calm but warm, like he was trying to make the space feel comfortable for me. "I'll leave you in here for a bit. It's quieter, and...well, there's no pressure."
The office was different to what I expected, with a desk at the back, a few weights piled up in the corner, and posters of past boxing matches hanging on the walls.
"Here," Theo said, stepping inside and pulling out the chair next to the desk. "You can sit here for a bit, alright? Just relax."
I nodded, taking a seat slowly, trying to gather myself. Theo moved around the room quietly, and when he returned, he was holding a stack of coloring pages and a small set of felt-tip pens. He handed them to me with a small shrug.
"I know it sounds a little... weird," he said, as if apologising. "But dad used to say colouring was a good way to clear your head. It's not about being good at it or anything. Just...keeping your mind busy."
I stared at the pages in my hands. The designs were simple, some geometric, some floral.
"Thanks," I said quietly. As I looked down at the pages again, I realised I was grateful for the distraction. The felt-tip pens in my hands felt like a lifeline.
Theo gave a small nod, sensing I needed the space. "I'll leave you here for a bit. Just take your time. No rush."
I nodded, not sure what else to say. I wasn't good at talking when I felt this nervous. My hands gripped the pens as I began to color, the motions slow at first. The gym was still alive with sound just beyond the door, but in here, it felt quieter. The strokes of colour on the page felt grounding in a way I hadn't expected.
Theo's footsteps retreated down the hallway, and for a few minutes, I was completely alone. I focused on the patterns, filling in the empty spaces with colour. The tension in my shoulders began to ease, my hands a little steadier. I didn't care about staying within the lines or making it perfect. I just needed something to do.
I felt my breathing slow down, a calmness washing over me as I lost myself in the task. Maybe it was the quiet, maybe it was just the act of doing something with my hands, but I felt a little bit more like myself again. The weight of the gym's energy still lingered, but in this little office, I was allowed to take a break from it.
I kept my focus on the colouring pages in front of me, trying to ignore the noise of the gym outside. The felt-tip pens moved slowly in my hands, the soft scratching sound the only thing filling the silence. It was oddly calming.
Theo had stepped out a few minutes ago, leaving me to my thoughts in the quiet of his office. The door was slightly ajar, but I could only hear faint noises from the gym – grunts and the thud of fists hitting bags. I liked it that way. The gym was still there, but it felt like a distant world.
I was starting to relax when something caught my eye. A painting.
It hung behind on the wall opposite the desk, framed and almost out of place among the boxing posters and gym equipment. The painting was of a small bowl of olives. It wasn't a large painting, but it was detailed – each olive glistening in the light, each shadow of the bowl carefully painted. It was simple, quiet, but beautiful in its own way.
I found myself staring at it, the vibrant green of the olives standing out against the soft tones of the background. Something about it felt personal.
Theo hadn't said anything about it when he brought me into the office, and I hadn't thought much of it until now. My curiosity got the better of me, and I couldn't stop my eyes from drifting back to the painting.
That's when it hit me. Olives.
A little memory surfaced – something buried deep in the back of my mind. It was from when I was younger, much younger, before everything had gone wrong. I remembered laughing with Theo, and him calling me Olive. I wasn't sure when it started, but somehow, he'd always called me that. "Hey, Olive!" he'd say with a grin, pulling me into a hug or ruffling my hair. It was always a nickname, and I never minded. It felt...nice. Special.
But I hadn't heard it in years. After everything that happened, after I'd been taken away from my family, the nickname faded, like so many other things.
I blinked, feeling a lump form in my throat.
My hand paused on the page, the pen hovering above it as I stared at the olives in the painting. I didn't know what to make of it. People kept memories in different ways, right? But still...the painting felt like a secret, something just for him, just for us.
I didn't know why it mattered so much to me, but it did. I was so lost in the thought that I didn't notice Theo walking back into the room until he spoke.
"How are you doing?" he asked quietly, his voice gentle, like he didn't want to startle me.
I looked up, startled, but he didn't seem to mind. His eyes followed mine to the painting on the wall before looking back at me.
"I, uh...I was just looking at the olives," I said, a little embarrassed, as if it was silly to be staring at a painting.
Theo glanced over at the artwork, a small, soft smile curling at the corners of his lips. "Yeah, I've had that up there for a while now," he said, his tone quieter, almost like he was thinking back to something. "I used to call you 'Olive,' remember? When you were little."
I nodded slowly, the memory suddenly clearer in my mind. "Yeah, I remember," I whispered, the sound of his voice calling me by that name, like it had never really gone away, still echoing in the back of my mind.
Theo's smile faltered for just a second, like the weight of the memory had landed on him, too. He didn't say anything for a moment, just stood there, his arms crossed as he stared at the painting.
"I didn't know if you'd remember it," he said finally, his voice quieter now. "But...I always thought of you as my little Olive. It felt like the right thing to keep around, I guess."
There was a pause, and I felt the space between us shift slightly. It was like he was trying to find the words but wasn't sure how.
I swallowed hard, trying to keep my emotions in check. "I remember," I said again, my voice barely above a whisper. "I never...I never forgot."
Theo's eyes softened. He nodded, then looked at me, like he was making sure I was okay.
"Good," he said quietly. "Good."
I looked back at the olives on the wall, feeling a tightness in my chest. The painting seemed to mean more now, as if it had been waiting all this time for me to see it, to remember. I wasn't sure why it hit me so hard, but it did. It felt like a small piece of the past had made its way into the present, a bridge between the little girl I had been and the young woman I was now, standing in the quiet of his office.
Theo didn't push me to say anything more. He didn't need to. He just let me sit there, the weight of the memory settling around us, before he finally spoke again, his voice light, as if to break the moment.
"Okay, Olive," he said, his grin returning. "If you're all good, we can head back out. I promise, no one will make you hit a bag just yet."
I smiled faintly, grateful for the shift in the mood. It felt good to remember, good to be reminded of the connection we still had, even if things were different now.
I stood up slowly, ready to face the gym again. But as I glanced back at the olives one last time, I realised that maybe, just maybe, I was starting to find my place again, in this world I hadn't expected to come back to.