Where I Belong - Chapter 13: Chapter 13

The sound of the door opening, pulled me out of the haze of my nightmare. My breaths were still uneven, my chest tight as I tried to remind myself where I was – safe, in my room, not there. I looked toward the door, and in the dim light, I saw Zane's tall figure standing in the doorway.
He didn't say anything at first. His sharp, calculating gaze swept over me, taking in the way I was curled against the headboard, clutching the blanket tightly. He stepped inside, shutting the door softly behind him.
"You're okay," he said finally, his voice quiet, low, steady. It wasn't a question. It was a statement.
I nodded faintly, though I couldn't quite meet his eyes. My throat felt tight, words stuck somewhere deep. Zane didn't push for an answer. He never did.
He stood there for a moment longer, his expression unreadable. Then, with a slight tilt of his head, he asked, "Nightmare?"
I swallowed hard, nodding again. It was all I could do.
Zane let out a soft breath through his nose, barely audible. He didn't say anything else – no empty words or reassurances that wouldn't help anyway. Instead, he crossed the room slowly, his movements deliberate and quiet, and sat down on the edge of my bed.
The mattress dipped slightly under his weight, but he didn't get comfortable. He just sat there, his large frame solid and steady, like some immovable wall keeping everything at bay. His presence alone was enough to ground me, to remind me that I wasn't alone, that nothing could touch me here.
I glanced at him, still unsure, still nervous around him in a way I couldn't quite explain. Zane was so intimidating without trying to be, but now, sitting quietly at the edge of my bed, he didn't feel so overwhelming. He felt safe.
Neither of us spoke. He didn't ask what the nightmare was about, didn't pry for details I wasn't ready to share.
Minutes passed, and the room settled into a strange sort of calm. My breathing had finally evened out, the tightness in my chest loosening just a little. Still, the memory of the nightmare lingered at the edges of my mind like a stain I couldn't wash out.
I shifted slightly, my voice barely above a whisper. "Sorry."
Zane's head turned toward me, his dark eyes sharp as they met mine. "For what?"
I hesitated, picking at the edge of the blanket. "For waking you up."
He didn't respond right away, his gaze steady. Then, his tone firm but softer than I expected, he said, "You don't have to apologise for that."
I nodded faintly, but I couldn't quite bring myself to look at him. I felt small again, the remnants of the nightmare making my skin crawl. For a moment, I thought he'd leave, that he'd think his job was done and walk out the door like nothing had happened.
But he didn't.
Zane shifted back slightly, leaning his elbows on his knees, his gaze drifting toward the far corner of the room. "Go back to sleep," he said quietly, like it was as simple as that.
I stared at him, uncertain. "I...don't know if I can." My voice was hesitant, the confession slipping out before I could stop it.
Zane's eyes flicked back to me, watching me for a long moment. Then, without another word, he moved, turning so that his back rested against the headboard beside me. His broad shoulders took up half the space, and I blinked at him in surprise as he settled in, legs stretched out, arms crossed loosely over his chest.
"Try," he said simply.
I watched him for a moment, unsure what to do. It was strange, seeing him like this – so relaxed, so unguarded, even if it was only a little. Zane didn't seem bothered by the silence or the fact that I couldn't quite relax yet. He just stayed.
Tentatively, I shifted down under the blanket, my head resting lightly against the pillow. I turned away slightly, staring at the window where the faintest sliver of moonlight bled through the curtains.
The weight of Zane's presence beside me was calming in a way I didn't expect. I could still hear the faint ticking of the clock and the steady rhythm of his breathing, deep and even, as though nothing could disturb him. It was like having a shield there, something unshakable, something I could trust.
Minutes stretched on, but slowly, the tension began to leave my body. My eyes grew heavy, the room blurring softly around the edges. I wasn't sure how long I lay there, but as I began to drift, I heard Zane's low voice, quiet and steady.
"You're safe here, Olivia."
The words settled over me like a blanket, grounding me even as sleep began to pull me under. For once, I believed them.
Zane didn't move, didn't leave. He stayed there beside me, a silent presence in the dark, until the nightmares finally let me go.
I don't know how long I slept after that, but it felt different. The dream didn't come back. I didn't wake up again, gasping for air, eyes wide in terror. I stayed asleep, uninterrupted, my body finally allowing itself the rest it had been craving.
I blinked against the light seeping through the crack in the curtains, a soft, golden glow that suggested morning was starting to creep in. I was lying on my side, curled up under the blankets, but I couldn't shake up the feeling that something was different. That something had changed.
It was then that I remembered Zane.
The memory of him sitting by my side, watching over me and protecting me from my nightmares. His presence was still so fresh in my mind. It wasn't just the reassurance he had given me, it was the fact that he hadn't left me alone when I needed him the most.
I turned my head slowly, half-expecting him to still be there, but the bed beside me was empty. For a brief moment, I felt the weight of his absence, a soft ache in my chest. But then I heard it – the sound of footsteps, quiet but deliberate, echoing faintly from the hallway.
I felt a small pang of relief.
Zane was nearby. Even though he wasn't in the room, I knew he was close. I didn't have to wonder if he was still out there watching over me. I didn't have to feel alone.
I pushed myself up slowly, the blankets falling away from my shoulders, and I pulled them back around me, hugging the warmth close to my chest. The room still felt cool, the kind of coolness that comes just before the sun rises and starts to warm everything up. But there was a different energy now. The tension had eased. The nightmare wasn't hanging over me like it had been before.
I glanced at the clock on the nightstand, my heart giving a small flutter when I saw the time. It was still early, the light outside just beginning to touch the edges of the day. It felt too soon to be awake, but I wasn't restless anymore. My mind felt clear, my body at ease, and for the first time in a long time, I didn't feel like I was drowning in memories or trapped in the fear of what could happen next.
I stood up, the floor cool beneath my bare feet, and I crossed the room to the window. I didn't pull the curtains all the way back, just enough to let a sliver of light sneak through. I didn't want to leave the comfort of the room just yet. Not when the morning light felt so gentle, so far removed from the nightmare I had just escaped.
Getting back into bed, I let the soft sunlight touch my face, I felt a shift. It wasn't dramatic, nothing that felt like an immediate cure or a moment of great clarity. It was more like a small crack opening up in the darkness, a tiny sliver of light in a place that had been so filled with shadow for so long.
I wasn't sure what it meant, but I knew I had made it through the night. I had survived it, with Zane's quiet help, and that was enough for now.
The sound of footsteps grew closer, and I turned to face the door, just in time to see it creak open just a little. "You're up?", his voice soft and cautious, like he was checking to see if I was awake.
I nodded, "Yeah. Just...thinking."
He didn't respond immediately, but I could feel his gaze. It was the kind of waiting that made me feel seen. No pressure, just a quiet acknowledgment that I was here and still holding on.
Finally, he stepped into the room, his presence warm and steady as ever. He leaned against the doorframe, his arms crossed casually, but there was an intensity to his eyes that told me he was still concerned. I couldn't blame him.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, his voice steady, but there was a softness beneath the surface, something that made me want to answer honestly.
I thought for a moment, watching the way the light shifted across the room, filling the corners that had felt so dark just hours ago. "Better," I said finally. "I think...I think I'm okay."
He didn't say anything, but there was a quiet relief in the way he nodded, his eyes softening just a little. He stepped closer, just enough to sit on the edge of the bed without crowding me. "You want some company while you get up?"
I could have said no, could have told him I needed time alone. But I didn't want to. I wanted him here. I wanted that sense of calm that seemed to follow him around.
I smiled faintly, more to myself than to him. "Yeah. I think I'd like that."
Zane settled next to me on the bed, his presence an anchor, as though he could keep the world at bay just by being there. I couldn't explain why it was so comforting. Maybe it was the quiet assurance he gave off, or maybe it was simply that he was here, and that was enough. He didn't try to fix anything, didn't ask me to talk if I wasn't ready. He just sat.
For a long time, we didn't say anything. The morning light began to grow stronger, casting long shadows on the floor as it crept into the room. I leaned back against the headboard, still wrapped in the cocoon of blankets, letting the warmth of the sun kiss my skin.
Zane was quiet, but not distant. His presence was steady, a silent promise that I wasn't alone, no matter how much I'd once convinced myself I had to face the world on my own.
After a while, he shifted, so he was facing me more directly. His gaze was warm, and I had been avoiding looking at him for fear that seeing him too clearly would remind me of everything I'd been running from – everything that had happened before I came here. But now, the distance between us, the safety of this room, made it easier to look him in the eye.
"How did you sleep?" he asked, breaking the quiet, his voice gentle but still laced with that familiar concern.
I thought about it for a moment, the sleep I'd managed to get, how the nightmares had finally loosened their hold on me. I didn't feel as if I was completely untouched by the past, but I wasn't drowning in it either.
"Better. It was different," I said, shrugging slightly as if to dismiss it. "I didn't wake up...panicked. I mean, I still remembered the dream, but it didn't...feel as real when I woke up."
Zane nodded slowly, processing my words. "That's good."
I stared at my hands for a moment, suddenly unsure of what to say next. I hadn't told him everything – not about Roger, not about the things that had really happened. I wasn't sure if I ever would. But the way Zane had stayed with me, without asking too many questions, without pushing me to open up more than I could handle...it made me think, maybe I didn't have to carry everything by myself anymore.
But I wasn't ready to go there yet. Not today.
"I...I don't know what I'd do without you, Zane," I said, my voice quieter than I intended. It was a confession I hadn't meant to make, but it slipped out anyway, soft but true.
He didn't respond right away. His eyes softened as he looked at me, and I could see the faintest hint of something – maybe surprise, or just the quiet acknowledgment that I was allowing myself to lean on him.
"You don't have to do it alone, Olivia," he said, his voice low but steady. "I'm here. I'll be here."
I looked at him then, really looked at him. The weight of those words settled on me like a blanket, warming me in a way I didn't know I needed. I didn't know how long I'd believed I had to figure everything out by myself. How long I'd thought I had to keep the truth buried deep inside, too afraid to let anyone in. But now, now, I could let someone be a part of it.
I didn't have to hold it all together alone.
There was a long pause, the silence now more comfortable, less filled with tension and fear. Zane sat back a little, crossing his arms, but his eyes never left me, always so steady, always so calm.
"You hungry?" he asked, breaking the quiet.
I blinked, the question pulling me out of the quiet space I'd been resting in. It was an oddly normal question after the intensity of the night, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how much I'd been avoiding basic things: eating, sleeping, taking care of myself in ways I hadn't really cared about before.
"Yeah," I said slowly, the word almost unfamiliar in my mouth. "I could eat something."
"Good," he said with a small grin, as if he'd been waiting for me to say that. "I'll go make us something. You can stay here and keep being...whatever it is you're doing."
I chuckled softly, feeling a small sense of warmth at the ease of his words. "I'm just...thinking."
Zane gave me a look that I couldn't quite read. "Alright, thinking. I'll let you do that. But if you need anything, I'll be downstairs."
I nodded, watching as he got up and made his way to the door. Before he left, he paused, glancing back at me with that same steady gaze.
"You're not alone, Olivia," he said again, the words as much a promise as a reminder.
And just like that, I felt a little lighter. Not fixed, not healed, but lighter. Like I could breathe again.
Zane stepped out of the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts but not with my fears. I was starting to believe that maybe, just maybe, I didn't have to face everything alone anymore.
For the first time in a long time, that thought didn't seem as terrifying as it used to.
The clinking of forks against plates filled the air as I slowly settled into the seat at the kitchen table, still a little uncertain of my place among the laughter and easy chatter.
I stole a glance at Zane, who was seated at the head of the table, his dark eyes scanning the room as if making sure everything was in its place.
"So, Olivia, about tomorrow," Zane started, his tone steady but still carrying that quiet weight he always had when he was about to say something important.
I blinked, my attention snapping to him. "What about tomorrow?" I asked, my voice hesitant.
The moment I said it, I could feel all of their eyes land on me, and I had a strange sensation of being caught in the spotlight, even though we were just sitting at the table. I didn't know why, but something in the air felt different, like I was waiting for something big to be dropped on me.
Zane's gaze softened slightly, and I saw the familiar glint of determination in his eyes. He wasn't going to sugarcoat it. "You're going to start school tomorrow."
The words hit me like a punch to the gut. School? Tomorrow? I didn't even know where to start with that. My mind felt like it froze for a second, caught in a whirlwind of confusion. I stared at Zane, trying to process what he was saying. I had no idea this was coming. No idea that this was part of the plan.
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out for a second, my thoughts racing. "But...school?" I finally managed. "I...I didn't know. I mean, I didn't think–"
Theo interrupted, his voice more casual but still carrying that protective edge I'd come to recognise in him. "Whoa, hold up. Tomorrow? You're really just throwing her into the lion's den already?" He shot a glance at Zane, raising an eyebrow. "You think she's ready for that?"
Zane didn't flinch. "She'll be fine. She needs routine. And we can help her with whatever she needs. Starting school will help her adjust."
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. I hadn't even really thought about going back to school, let alone starting tomorrow. My chest felt tight as I tried to catch my breath, the panic creeping in. What if I didn't fit in? What if I couldn't handle it? What if I–
Before I could spiral, Silas was there, his grin wide and mischievous, as always. "Oh, so that's what we're doing now? Liv's going to school like it's no big deal? I mean, come on, Zane. Are you sure you want to send her into the chaos? I've seen the kind of characters that go to school." He paused, glancing dramatically at me. "You sure you're ready for all the wild stuff they throw at you? Like... lockers that get jammed. And gym class? Yeah, that's a nightmare."
The dramatic way he said it made me laugh despite myself. Silas had a way of making even the most terrifying situations seem like something you could face with a joke and a grin. I could see the edge of my nerves begin to dull as I let out a small chuckle.
Zane's expression softened, just slightly, as he glanced at Silas. "You're not helping, but yeah. Olivia's going to need to face this sooner or later."
I could see the concern in his eyes, even as he tried to keep his voice steady. Zane was always the one to look out for everyone, to be the one who made tough calls. And this? Sending me to school? I could tell it wasn't an easy decision for him either.
Elijah's voice cut through the tension, as warm and soothing as always. "Hey, sweetheart," he said gently, his tone full of care, "it's okay to be nervous. Starting something new, especially school, is tough on anyone. But we're all here for you, okay?" He gave me a reassuring smile.
I nodded, trying to calm the anxious flutter in my chest. The last thing I wanted to do was seem weak in front of them. But school? It felt like a whole new world. How was I supposed to just walk in and pretend everything was okay?
Theo spoke next, his voice gruff but soft underneath, like he was trying to give me space while still making sure I understood he was there. "Look, I'm not gonna lie. It's gonna be a lot. School's tough. But you're tougher than you think, Olive." He gave me a small, smile. "And if anyone gives you trouble, well, I'm more than happy to come show them how a real workout's done." He flexed his arm, as if to prove a point, and I couldn't help but laugh a little again.
Eros hadn't said a word since Zane dropped the news, but I could feel his presence. He leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, eyes flicking over to me before quickly looking away. But I noticed the way he stiffened at the idea of me going to school. "You'll be fine, Livy." His voice was low, almost too low to hear, but I knew it was meant for me, and that small, familiar hint of concern felt like a strange comfort.
I let out a shaky breath, trying to make sense of everything. It was a lot to take in, all at once. But in that moment, surrounded by my brothers – who all had their ways of showing it, but I knew each one cared in their own way – I felt like I wasn't quite as alone as I had feared.
"I'll try," I said softly, my voice quiet but steady.
Zane gave me a small, approving nod. "You don't have to be ready right now. You just have to take the first step."
And somehow, with Zane's quiet certainty hanging in the air, I felt like I could. Not because I had it all figured out. But because, for the first time in a long time, I didn't have to figure it out alone.