Where I Belong - Chapter 5: Chapter 5

As I stood in the hallway, still unsure of what to do next, I heard footsteps approaching from behind. I turned to see Elijah walking towards me.
"Hey, Olivia," he said softly. "Just wanted to check on you before you head to bed."
I offered him a small smile, unsure of how to respond, but his presence was a comfort. It always felt like he had a way of making everything seem just a little easier, a little lighter.
"Are you okay?" Elijah asked, his gaze searching mine.
I nodded quickly, a knot forming in my throat. I wanted to tell him I was okay, but it didn't quite feel true. "Yeah, just...tired," I managed to say, my voice soft and shaky, barely above a whisper.
Elijah's expression softened. "I understand. The first night here is always the hardest. But just remember, you're safe here, okay?"
His words settled into my chest like a weight lifted. For all the uncertainty I still felt, there was something about Elijah's kindness that made it a little easier to breathe.
"Good night, Olivia," he said quietly.
"Good night, Elijah," I whispered back.
As Elijah made his way back down the hall, I stood there for a moment, taking in the quiet. But the peace didn't last long. Another set of footsteps echoed from behind, and I turned to find Silas grinning at me, his usual energy filling the space.
"Hey, Olivia," he said with a mischievous glint in his eye. "You heading to bed already? The night's young! I'm pretty sure there's still a solid hour left for a late-night snack attack."
I felt a small, nervous laugh bubble up in my chest, though I wasn't sure if it was from the absurdity of his suggestion or the discomfort of not knowing how to respond. I wasn't even sure if I was allowed to eat, let alone if I should.
"I-I'm good," I said quietly, shifting from one foot to the other. "I'm just tired."
Silas raised an eyebrow dramatically, as if I'd just told him the most absurd thing he'd ever heard. "Tired? Olivia, we are officially in the middle of prime late-night snack hours! I'm talking crisps, cookies, maybe even cake if we're feeling wild. And you're choosing sleep over that?"
His playful tone was a small relief, but the anxiety in my chest didn't fade. I wanted to laugh, to say something, but it felt hard to get the words out.
"I–I'm not really hungry," I stammered, trying to sound more sure of myself, but I wasn't. "Maybe tomorrow."
Silas let out a dramatic sigh, pressing a hand to his chest like he'd been dealt a tragic blow. "Well, fine. But when the midnight munchies hit and you change your mind, I'll be waiting. Proudly waiting."
I managed a small smile, my shoulders relaxing just a little at his ridiculousness. "I'll...I'll keep that in mind," I said softly.
Then Silas leaned in a little closer, lowering his voice like he was about to tell me some big secret. "But seriously," he said, a bit more earnest now, "if you need anything – anything at all – you can talk to me. I'm basically a pro at offering terrible advice and random jokes to cheer people up."
I felt a wave of warmth, even though my stomach was still tight with nerves. It wasn't just the words; it was the way he said it, like he meant it. "Thanks, Silas," I whispered.
"No problem," he said, flashing a wink. "Good night, Olivia. And just so you know, if you decide to raid that snack stash in the middle of the night, I'll be silently applauding from my room."
I couldn't help but chuckle quietly, the sound shaky but genuine. "Good night, Silas," I said, trying to sound more confident than I felt.
With a final wave, he disappeared behind his door, and I stood there for a long moment, letting the quiet settle over me. For a second, I almost felt like I might be okay. But I couldn't shake the nerves, the ache in my chest, and the buzzing in my head that wouldn't let me sleep.
Going into the room I was given, I shut the door quietly behind me and just stood there for a moment. I stared at the unfamiliar place and wondered how I was going to be able to fall asleep tonight.
After brushing my teeth and getting changed into the pyjamas which were left for me on the side, I stood in the middle of the room.
I glanced at the bed.
It looked soft. Too soft. The blankets looked plush and inviting, the pillows stacked high like they were meant for someone who was allowed to be comfortable. But I wasn't sure how to even approach it.
For as long as I could remember, I had never been allowed to sleep in a bed. I didn't even know what that felt like. I was used to the cold, hard floor, the bare minimum. Sleeping on the floor had been my normal for years; no softness, no comfort, just whatever space I could find. The idea of lying down in a bed like this, felt strange. Almost wrong. Like I wasn't supposed to be here, like I didn't deserve to.
I stood at the foot of the bed for what felt like forever, unsure of how to proceed. The softness of the sheets almost made me nervous. What if I didn't fit into this? What if I couldn't do it right?
It wasn't just about the bed, it was about everything. I was so used to pretending I didn't need anything, didn't want anything, that what I had was what I deserved. There was a lump in my throat as I reached down and pulled the covers back, testing the feeling of the cool sheets against my fingers.
I hesitated before sliding into the bed, my body stiff, unsure. I didn't know how to make myself comfortable in it. The softness beneath me felt too plush, the blankets too heavy. I shifted once, twice, before realizing I couldn't settle.
I pulled the covers up to my chin, hugging them tight as if the warmth could somehow ground me. My back ached; the scars on my back were starting to throb again – a constant reminder of the past. I winced, reaching back instinctively to touch the tender spots, but I quickly stopped myself, remembering that the marks were hidden beneath the fabric of my shirt. No one here knew about them, and I wasn't sure if I was ready for anyone to know.
I tried to settle into the bed, but the unfamiliar softness only seemed to heighten my sense of discomfort. I kept my eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling, willing myself to fall asleep, but the more I tried, the more my thoughts raced.
What if I woke up and no one was here? What if I was alone again, stuck in the dark with no one to protect me? The fear clung to me, swirling in my chest, and I realised I wasn't sure how to be comfortable here. Not like this. Not in a bed that felt too soft, too warm, too safe.
I shifted in bed, trying to get comfortable, but every time I closed me eyes, I thought of all the dark nights I spent alone. I could still hear my mother's harsh words and feel Roger's dirty hands all over me.
I couldn't risk it. I couldn't let the nightmares come.
The room was too quiet, too still. I wasn't sure if I was scared of the darkness or the shadows my mind would cast in it. So, I lay there, wide-eyed, staring up at the ceiling, forcing myself to breathe slowly, to ignore the creeping feeling in my chest.
The night stretched on like this, hour after hour. I couldn't sleep, not with the pain in my back and not with the memories clawing at the edges of my mind. I thought of the kindness Zane had shown me earlier, the way he had spoken to me, promising that I wasn't alone, that I was part of the family. It was hard to believe it, though. The house was full of people who seemed so whole, so strong. And here I was, fragile, broken in ways I didn't know how to fix.
The kitchen was quiet when I came downstairs, just the soft clatter of plates and the smell of breakfast filling the space. Elijah and Silas were already at the table, talking casually, but when they saw me, their conversation paused.
"Good morning, Olivia," Elijah said, his voice warm, like he was genuinely relieved to see me up and moving. He was already halfway through a cup of coffee, but his eyes softened when he noticed the uncertainty in my steps. "Sleep okay?"
I hesitated for a moment, unsure how to answer. The truth was, I hadn't slept much at all. But I didn't want to say that, I didn't want to sound like I was being difficult, so I just gave a small shrug. "Yes, thank you," I replied quietly.
He didn't seem convinced but nonetheless he let it go. "Come sit with us and have some breakfast."
I nodded, feeling my stomach tighten. I wasn't hungry, but I didn't want to disappoint him. I sat down at the table, glancing at the food in front of me. The plate was piled high with eggs, toast, bacon, and fruit, and just the sight of it made my stomach do a little flip. I wasn't used to having so much food, let alone eating it all. I wasn't sure I could.
I began to pick at the fruits on the plate in front of me when Silas started to speak.
"How about we start the day the right way?" He raised his eyebrow with a mischievous grin, and gestures towards the counter.
"I'm talking snacks. I'm pretty sure there's a hidden stash of cookies in this house, and we should absolutely investigate. Breakfast is overrated, right?"
I hesitated, looking down at my plate, still mostly untouched. My stomach felt too tight to eat, but the idea of cookies...that was a little more tempting. Besides, Silas' excitement was contagious in its own weird way. It was impossible not to be drawn into his energy.
I glanced over at Elijah, who was still sipping his coffee and reading the paper. He didn't seem fazed by the idea of Silas dragging me into a cookie mission, though I noticed a faint smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
"Okay," I said softly, my voice a little uncertain but warming with the idea of breaking free from my routine. "Cookies sound good."
Silas's eyes lit up, as if he'd just won a prize. "That's the spirit!" He stood up from the table, already moving toward the kitchen, and I followed hesitantly behind him.
Silas opened the cupboard with exaggerated drama, peering inside with a look of triumph. "Aha! Found them!" he said, holding up a bag of cookies like it was treasure. He pulled the bag open and offered it to me. "Dig in."
I felt a little awkward, reaching for the bag, but I took one anyway – a small, chocolate chip cookie. It felt almost forbidden, like I wasn't allowed to enjoy something so simple, but Silas made it feel lighthearted, like it was just a small, harmless thing. I bit into the cookie, surprised at how good it tasted. It was soft and the chocolate chips melted in my mouth.
Silas was watching me with a grin, his eyes glinting mischievously. "Not bad, huh?" he said. "It's a secret recipe. Or, you know, just store-bought, but who's keeping track?"
I smiled a little more, the tension in my shoulders easing as I chewed. "Yeah, not bad," I said quietly, even though I felt like I wasn't supposed to be enjoying it this much.
"See? Told you. You just gotta let yourself live a little," Silas said with a wink, then stuffed another cookie into his mouth. "If you want to make it official, we can start a cookie club. First rule: no regrets. Ever."
I chuckled softly, feeling a little more at ease. I wasn't used to this kind of casual fun, but it was nice. It was a small step toward something normal, something that didn't feel so heavy and complicated.
Silas leaned back against the counter, folding his arms and grinning like a kid who'd just been given permission to stay up past bedtime. "I knew you'd come around. But now that you're one of us, you have to promise me one thing – next time we raid the snack stash, we're going big. Like crisps, cookies, maybe even some cake. It's gonna be a party."
I laughed softly, feeling the warmth of the moment. I wasn't ready for all of this, not completely. But Silas made it easier. He made the scary parts feel like something I could manage.
"Deal," I said, my voice quiet but a little less nervous than when I'd come downstairs.
Just as I reached for another cookie, I heard footsteps approaching from the hallway. I looked up to see Theo walking into the kitchen, dressed in workout clothes, his muscles still a little tense from his early morning session at the gym. His expression was the usual mix of cool and reserved, but when he spotted us at the counter, a flicker of amusement crossed his face.
He raised an eyebrow, his gaze flicking between me and the cookie bag. "Seriously? You two are skipping breakfast for cookies?" He leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms, clearly amused by our snack raid.
Silas, ever the dramatist, didn't miss a beat. He held the cookie bag up like it was some sort of trophy. "You bet. Breakfast is overrated, man. We've upgraded to the real essentials."
Theo chuckled, a low, rumbling sound. "I can't say I'm surprised. You always did have a sweet tooth." He nodded at me, giving me a soft smile. "How's it going, Olivia? You surviving your first morning?"
I shifted slightly, a little nervous about his attention on me. It was always hard to know what to say, especially when he was so direct, but I gave him a tentative smile, trying to mask how uncomfortable I felt. "Um...yeah. I'm okay. Just...trying to get used to everything," I mumbled, not sure how to put it all into words.
Theo studied me for a moment, his gaze sharp and thoughtful. There was a certain calm in him, the kind that came with being the quietest of the brothers, and I couldn't help but feel a little more at ease under his gaze. "It's a big change, huh?" he said, his tone quieter now, almost understanding.
I nodded. "Thanks for the cookies," I said quietly, glancing between Silas and Theo. "I'm not sure I could've handled a full breakfast anyway."
"No problem," Silas said with a grin, patting his stomach. "We've got your back, Olivia. You ever need a partner in crime for a snack raid, you know who to find."
"Yeah," I said, feeling the smallest spark of confidence, "I'll keep that in mind."
Theo gave me a quick, warm smile before turning to leave. "Take it easy today, okay? Don't try to do too much all at once."
I nodded, feeling a little more grounded with each passing minute. They weren't pushing me, they were just letting me find my way at my own pace.
As Theo walked out of the kitchen, Silas tossed me another cookie. "You good for now?"
"Yeah," I said softly.