Why the Straight One? - Chapter 14: Chapter 14

"You know I have a place in the country, right?" He called out from the bedroom.
"No! No one tells me anything!" I managed to get out around the toothbrush in my mouth.
"Well I do. I go there for a month every year, and I probably need to go there soon."
"Just you?" I'd never thought of what it would be like here without Thomas being around. I acted like he annoyed me, but I actually enjoyed my time with him.
"No, of course not. I figured you would come too. After all, when you married me you became the Duke of Sutcliff as well as a prince."
"Really? I forgot about that. Is that the name of your place there or something?"
"Don't you know your own country? It's the name of that part of the country. My "place" there is the castle. I've been the duke since I was eighteen."
"Do you know how snobby you sound right now?" I spat out my toothpaste, and rinsed my brush, the sound of the running water muffled his reply.
"What was that?" I walked back into our room, running a towel over my still damp hair.
"Oh no! Nope, not happening!" He looked up at me, confusion evident in his dark mesmerizing eyes. He had been reading, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as he concentrated on the words. His dark hair was messy, his stubble only adding to his attractiveness.
Oh and I forgot to mention. He was shirtless.
"What's not happening?"
"You don't want me to act gay, and yet you sit around looking like that!" I gestured to his toned chest, and he seemed to finally catch on.
"Oh." He blushed, only adding to his hotness. "I didn't—I mean—"
"Just get a shirt on." I turned on my heel, and walked back into the bathroom until he did what I said.
I heard him shuffling around in the other room, trying to find the shirt he had had on when I left to take my shower. Seriously, that man was too good looking to take his shirt off and sit in bed.
"Are you decent?"
"I am always decent." I walked back to our room, and sure enough, he had done what I said. Then, and only then, did I jump onto my side of the bed.
"Do you always have to make the entire bed bounce when you get it?" He rolled his eyes at me, and turned his attention back to whatever book he was reading.
"Yup! It's the only way to get into a bed." I replied with my usual cheerfulness, but things still seemed a little strained between us.
I'm not taking any of the blame for that. He
Shouldn't have taken his shirt off.
"So..." He closed his book, and looked over at me, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "I must look really good shirtless to get a reaction like that."
I whacked him hard with my pillow before flopping down and covering my face with it.
"Don't get too puffed up. I was just trying to protect my eyes. They've never seen anything that disturbing before."
"Yeah right."
"That's the entire truth of the matter."
"Then why are you hiding your face under your pillow?"
Because I'm blushing more than I think I ever have, and you're the reason. You and your freakish good looks. Well, that's what I was thinking anyways.
"Because I want to go to bed, but you still have the light on. It's my happy medium."
"Your such a bad liar, Alex." I felt him start to pull at the pillow, and held on to it for dear life.
"I never lie! Let go of the pillow!" He chuckled, but only pulled harder.
"Why? Are you afraid of what I'll see?"
Now, these are the times that I really didn't get him. He acted like this, and it only made things worse. He was adorable, and I had to keep my distance. Sure, we could mess around like this, but it was never anything more.
"Well, this face has been the cause of many a broken heart, so yes. I keep this pillow here out of kindness towards you."
"Oh I see. Well, thank you."
"Welcome." He let go of the pillow, and I relaxed my hold on it.
Just when I thought he had gone back to reading or something, I felt the pillow being pulled away from my face, only to see Thomas' face inches from mine.
"There. That's wasn't so hard now, was it?" He grinned.
For once in my life, I didn't have a quick reply. I was speechless, staring up at him. I took in every detail, from his dark brows to the teeth marks I could still see on his bottom lip from when he was biting it earlier. I wanted to kiss him so badly, but I knew I couldn't. There were no cameras, so there would be no affection.
He seemed to realize what was happening, and pulled away from me quickly.
"I'm sorry." I blinked and shook my head, trying to pull myself out of the trancelike state I had fallen into.
"I forgot that this might actually mean something to you. Or like, you might start...having feelings for me or something. I'm sorry, I should have thought about you more."
"It's-it's fine." There was a strange weight on my heart. A feeling I'd never felt before. Sure, I'd liked people before, but I'd never felt anything like this.
This was the first time in our time together that it dawned on me. I might have to feel like this forever. An aching longing for someone who was so close to me, but would never care for me. Not like that.
"No really." I was looking anywhere but at him. I was highly embarrassed and hurt. I just want to roll over and be forgotten. He touched my shoulder, and I turned to look into his concerned eyes.
"This is hard on both of us in entirely different ways. This whole time I've been thinking about how hard it is for me to be married to someone I don't have feelings for, but I never stopped to consider..."
"I know you don't now, but-"
"Alex, no."
"Never?" I sounded desperate and needy and I knew it, but I didn't care.
"Alex." The gentleness of his tone hurt. He was trying to soften the blow, but it still hurt. I told my myself up until now that I could make him love me. Now I didn't know.
"Never mind. I was being stupid." I rolled over, turning my back on him. He sighed, but didn't speak again.
Silence fell between us, and after a few moments I heard the rustling of his pages as he reopened his book. I endured the silence for a little while longer.
"What time is it?" I could hear him looking around for his phone.
"9:30." I sighed, and threw the covers off of me. Swinging my legs out of bed, I sat up.
"I'll be back soon."
"Alright." He looked at me for a few seconds. He looked like he wanted to say something else, but I turned away before he could. Slipping on my shoes, I headed out of our bedroom, through our apartments, and into the hall.
I tiptoed my way down the hall, trying to remember the way to where I was going, and trying not to be seen in the process. I didn't really want to have to talk to anyone right now.
I reached the door I was looking for, and knocked hesitantly on the door.
"Who's there?"
"It's me. Alex."
"Oh, come in." I opened the door, and was met by Jay's smiling face.
"Hey, what's up?" I sighed and sat on the couch next to him, leaning my head against his shoulder.
"It's just...Thomas." He pulled out his arm from where I was leaning on it, and wrapped it around my shoulders.
"What about him? Is he being a jerk or something? I will kill him if he so much as said something mean to you."
"Not, it's not that. He's not...he'll never love me, Jay." I sniffed, and he immediately turned his body, pulling me into one of his warm hugs.
"Oh Alex, I didn't realize you actually liked him. I'm sorry."
I didn't cry. I wasn't that weak yet. I just buried my face in his neck and let him hug me. Jay's hugs were always the best. No matter how bad things got, his hugs could always make them right.
"Just wait. I'll bet money that someday he will like you a lot more than he does now. Maybe even love you. Just give him a little while to get around to the idea. How could anyone not love you?"
I laughed and took on a deep breath. I was crazy for despairing so easily.
This definitely wasn't over yet.