Why the Straight One? - Chapter 36: Chapter 36

So of course I really want to find out who tops out of Raymond and Cole. The thing is, I don't know how I'm supposed to find that out. It's not like I could just ask one of them during a normal conversation. I'd hardly said anything to Cole before, and I wasn't close enough with Raymond to just randomly ask him how he enjoyed letting Cole top. Because that was obviously the case.
I realized that I hadn't spent much time with Alan, or even asked him how he was coping with everything. Even though I wasn't the one who kissed Elliot, I still felt like I had a secret I was hiding from Alan. But I couldn't avoid him any longer. Somehow, everyone else had left and I was alone with Alan. He was on his phone, and either didn't notice that I was there, or didn't feel like talking.  I cleared my throat awkwardly, and he glanced up from his phone.
"Your friends are really stupid." I was surprised by his opening sentence, but I definitely wasn't in disagreement with it.
"How so?"
"There is obviously a connection between them, and they are both too proud to admit it. I stayed with Jay since...well, for the last few months, and those two literally do everything together. Like, Cameron even comes and visits him during his lunch break at the tattoo parlor!
And they both would totally deny there being any sort of feelings between them. They go around thinking they have all the time in the world, and that things will always be the same, but that's not true. Things change. They change without warning, and leave you with nothing but the memories of all your missed opportunities."
I was surprised by his burst of feelings, and didn't quite know what to say. Of course he was right about them, but I knew he wasn't just talking about Cameron and Jay.
"And before you start feeling bad for me, I wasn't talking about myself. I have good memories. Amazing memories, and I have no regrets, because I actually admitted that I like him ages ago." He stood up, looking around him with tear filled eyes.
"Alan-"
"I'm fine!" He said through clenched teeth, looking anything but fine.
"You don't have to tell me anything, Alan, but you don't have to pretend either." He looked conflicted, but didn't step away. I waited, not wanting to cut him off if he started to speak.
"Sometimes I start to think about what might be happening to him. Elliot's a lot gentler than people think. I try not to think about what it's like there for him with Jasper, but I can't help it. And we—"
He wrapped his arms around his chest, and looked away from me, trying to hide the tears that slipped from his eyes.
"We were going to elope. Did you know that?"
"I—no, I didn't. What stopped you?"
"Elliot stopped us." He was trying hard to control the emotion in his voice, but it quivered when he said his name.
"He said he couldn't just abandon his country like that. And I was just supposed to be good with that, and to not resent him for it. But sometimes—"
The door opened suddenly, and Raymond walked in. He stopped, his eyes going between the tearful face of Alan, and my own. They softened instantly, and he stepped fully into the room.
"Hey, what's wrong, Alan?"
"Nothing, I'm fine. I just need to...go for a walk." He hurried past Raymond out of the room. Raymond watched him go for a few seconds, then turned to me.
"You know, I've grown pretty fond of him ever since he and Elliot started dating. They were supposed to keep it a secret in the beginning, but Elliot told me about him right away. I should talk to him while he's here since I know him pretty well."
"I think that would be a good idea." He nodded.
"Have you seen Cole? I thought he'd be here."
"He left a little bit ago. By the way, what's with the two of you?"
"What do you mean?" I was surprised to see him blushing again. Raymond was not the blushing type.
"Really? Well, for one thing you had me introduce him as your friend, but what I saw this morning didn't look like friendship."
"Okay, fine. We aren't friends." He three his hands in the air in exasperation. "Happy now?"
"Very happy. He seems pretty confident for being a stranger here."
"Yeah." He agreed noncommittally. If all went to plan, I'd have the proof I needed to when that bet.
"Is he like that all the time, or is that just an act?"
"I'd say that's just his personality." I don't know if he was on to me, but looked curious as to why I was asking so many questions.
"So he's pretty dominant?" His eyebrows went up, and he looked at me long and hard.
"I see what you're trying, but it won't work, Alex. You aren't getting a thing from me."
"Well you didn't deny it, so I'm gonna say that's as good as agreeing with me."
"Think what you want. I'm going to find Cole."
"That's right, go find your man." He rolled his eyes, but left without another word. I just needed a little proof and I'd be a richer man by ten dollars.
I had every intention of using this information to gloat over Thomas that night, but something told me it wasn't the right time. He was writing at his desk when I walked in, so I changed in the bathroom, and found him sitting on the end of the bed when I walked back in.
I lay down, facing towards the middle of the bed, and Thomas lay down next to me, facing me. He smiled at me, and I smiled back. Somehow it just felt like the right time to ask all the questions I'd been wondering.
"Thomas, are we a couple? Like, is kissing going to be normal from now on?"
"Yes, and yeah, I'd like it to be." He smiled sheepishly, and I realized just then how adorable he could look. Before I could resist, I brought my hand up to cup his cheek.
"Thomas?" His eyes flickered up from my mouth to my eyes.
"Yeah?" He whispered, and I brought my head a little closer to his.
"Will you be my boyfriend? I know we are husbands, but that's just from this arrangement. This is different." His eyes teared up, and I half expected him to pull away from me, but instead, he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me closer to him.
"Yes." Then he leaned forward and kissed me. It was nothing like our kiss yesterday. It was slow and hesitant. Our first kiss in a relationship that wasn't forced.
I fell asleep in his arms for the first time that night, and I don't think I've ever slept as good as I did with his arms around me.
"Alex, I'd love to lay around with you all morning, but there's just one thing."
"Can't whatever you do wait a little while?" He chuckled.
"Well, it's but that. It's something else..."
"Well?" I asked, when he hesitated.
"Well," He leaned closer, and whispered in my ear. "It's just that I've never been a fan of morning breath."
"Well what about your morning breath? I'm sure it's just as bad."
"Exactly. So, i must leave you for a little while to remedy this morning breath. And if you want my advice, you'd do something about yours. It's awful."
"Why you little-" he jumped off the bed, and ran towards the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.
"Fine! Hide in there! But you know I'll have to get in there if you want me to brush my teeth."
He didn't answer, but the door opened a minute later.
"What's that? Were you talking to me?" He tried to act nonchalant, but the corners of his mouth were lifted up in a small smile.
"Oh nothing, dear. Just move over." I pushed him out of the way, and walked into the bathroom.
"And I'll be waiting to smell your amazing breath." I laughed, and got out my toothbrush.
When I walked back in, Thomas was laying on his back, eyes closed, and hands tucked under his head. He was laying near my side of the bed. I can't really explain what happened next. I got onto the bed, and started to kiss him. I was laying partly over him, and his body instantly stiffened.
"Get off!"
He shoved me off of him as hard as he could, and when I opened my eyes, his were terrified. He sat up quickly, trying to get as far away from me as possible. I stretched out my hand, why I don't know, and he jerked away from me.
"Thomas, what—"
"Don't touch me." He pushed himself off the bed, stepping away from it, and almost tripping in his hurry.
The fear in his eyes, and his shaking hands suddenly brought to mind the memory of what he told me. Of how helpless he had felt that night. I was a fucking idiot.
"Thomas, I'm sorry." He let out a deep breath, and hesitated.
"It's umm...it's okay. I'm just going to get some air. On the balcony." I almost stood up, but he stepped back again. "Please don't follow me. I'll...be back soon."
Of course, I had to mess it all up.