Withered - Chapter 14: Chapter 14
You are reading Withered, Chapter 14: Chapter 14. Read more chapters of Withered.
Why is it not enough?
Why my reluctance not enough to make you stop?
Why are my tears no enough?
Is it my fault, for being too weak to fight?
Why, why we ended up like this?
Why are you doing this to me?
You are my best friend.
Finally, this is going to end. Urrgh, he's so heavy. I don't think I can do this anymore, fortunately only a few stairs then we'll get to his room. God, I'm late for home it's almost twelve sharp, my parents will scold me.
I support him to walk to his room and flop him into the bed as I sit on the floor, catching air. I stand and fix his sleeping position, basically his habit to sleep lying on his stomach. Take his shoes off, socks and put him under a blanket.
There's no light, but the blackness little by little fading as the moon guides me through the night. His face lights up by the moonlight creep from the window. How come he's this good looking while sleeping? I thought to myself before tap his forehead saying goodnight. He groans a bit which reminds me of old times when he always did that whenever he's mad. I smile then turn around heading to the door but stop when my hand grabbed from behind.
Chaeyoung says a word that I couldn't understand. He's basically mumbling something, I walk closer and sit on my knees leaning against his bed trying to catch his word. He keeps his mouth shut for a moment then again says something I don't get. I laugh at myself for taking a drunk person's word seriously. I'm about to stands as I thought he has fallen asleep, but to my surprise, he cups my cheeks, staring into me. I'm caught off guard. He leans closer and we are so close, my heart could explode. I pull away only for him to tighten his grip until it's hurt.
"This is bad"
I quickly lift my hand and held his arms, hesitantly look up to him, the swirl of emotion I see there makes me gasp. Lust, desire and..... fear? However, before I could ponder about it further, he brings me close until there's no gap between us. His lips brush mine, I try to pull away but he is was too strong, besides my body seems not listening to me. Urged myself to push away but couldn't, my body begin to tremble uncontrollably. I've never in this uncomfortable state when I'm with Chaengie but somehow, now I am.
His head angled slightly to the side of his lips came closer and closer to mine. I couldn't think straight, lots of things going through my mind as our lips met. My body goes rigid with surprise, it's a gentle, soft kiss with its flicker of warmth. I don't respond to the kiss, my hand shaking slightly, my mind is repeating the same sentence over and over Don't do this, don't do this but the sound of my heart is beating so loud, I couldn't concentrate.
His hand moves from my cheeks to the back of my head. His fingers tangling in my long hair, lightly pulling me into him, adding pressure to our lips, deepening the kiss. My heart aches, I couldn't bring myself. At this moment, I know something is just wrong, everything is wrong. He is drunk, he might not even remember what happened the next day. With that, I push him with my hand that rest against his chest. He looks at me then smile, that annoying smile.
I take shallow breaths and without saying a word, I leave with my back facing him heading to the door. I feel guilty and shame at the same times. It just a mistake, I convince myself.
"I like you. A lot."
I froze as I held the doorknob, I could sense his presence standing behind me as I turn to face him again.
"More than a friend, more than a brother, more than what we are now" He adds. He sounds so pained, so remorseful. Before I could say anything, he grips my forearms, walks me two steps until I'm against the wall. He closes the gap, fingers tightening on my arms, squeezing so there's almost pain. His mouth possessive and rough, I couldn't react but stand stiff until reality hits me and I try to push him.
Instead of backing away, his hand move sliding up my thigh, to my shirt, pushing it inappropriately high. The heat of his palm sliding over my skin leave he owns it. I know I should try harder or just run, but WHY?! My body can't move. It's like I'm in a state of panicking until I let his hands roaming around my body.
I look up, meet his eyes, and thought to myself that this is not him. This guy is not my best friend, he is NOT the Chaeyoung that I know for a long time. And this guy just lost and unaware of what he's doing. I collect myself, and step on his feet hard, feeling the guilty rush through me as he grunted. I leave him and walk away, I know it just a mistake and I have to leave the place as soon as possible before anything happens.
I should run.
Heading downstairs, with high heels what do I expect? My foot kicks the other and I start hurdling forward. I take a deep breathe in as I close my eyes and hear the thudding of my body hitting the stairs. When the rolling stops, bruises all over my arms, sprained ankle. I struggle to stand as I chanted repeatedly I need to leave but my muscle is so weak, I fall and hit my head on the edge of the stairs rails. Everything becomes fuzzy; then I see nothing at all.
* * * *
This feels weird
What's going on?
Where I am?
I open my eyes, feeling dizzy. I'm wide awake but I couldn't see anything, everything is a complete dark, not even the slightest moonlight, no nothing. Soon I feel some sort of fabric or maybe it's cloth wraps around my eyes. That when I realized, I'm blindfolded.
Confused, mad, terrified, I call for Changie, but there's no response. I start to cry as I learn to know that my hands are tied up into something, I guess a headboard bed since I'm lying with a pillow on. Random and absurd thought lingering through my mind. Feeling the bitter cold chilled every inch of my body into clumsy numbness, cold into my toes and spread painfully throughout my whole body. I'm doubting that I'm on my clothes, 'cause I know at this moment, I'm not.
I'm shivering, my teeth chattering as I try to reach Chaengie, calling, shouting his name again and again in desperate of need. I need help. I start to think if this is just a dumb weird dream but it's not, what I'm going through right now is actually happening and I can't release myself no matter how hard I try, only hurting my wrist and straining my voice.
"Don't move"
I stop upon hearing a voice. It's deep and low sounding, something familiar. "C-Chaengie?" I call, recognizing the voice. I heard no response but the sound of approaching feet and heavy breath. The volume is overly loud in my own ears, along with the booming of my heartbeat. I'm soaked with sweat as again I call for help.
The footsteps nearing me until it stops, I have funny thoughts that I'll be saved when actually it's only the beginning of my torment. I gasp for air when I feel sharp pressure on my stomach as if a rock just was thrown at me. Nausea creeps from my abdomen to my head, it feels like someone has taken a knife to my skull. I could only concentrate on the pain that rooted deep. I lost track of my surrounding, as my hearing senses goes fuzzy. I barely hear the pitter-patter of little feet and loud thumping footsteps against the floor, slowly fades away.
I lay there, face closed in a grimace while my skin goes clammy. I heave and try to push the dizziness aside, concentrate on escaping. My hands and ankle tangled as I tossed around, trying to free away. Every few minutes I would scream. Not so long, I sense the silence footsteps again heading towards me.
I feel bodyweight on the bed. I cry harder, shouting harder, fight harder as a pair of cold hands roam against my skin. Feeling the pressure of someone on top of me, letting this man do whatever he wants, unable to fight back.
Feel his forcefully, explore my mouth with his tongue, hands slid between my legs. His heavy breathing into my left ear as his body shove itself inside of mine. Crying uncontrollably, I couldn't stop it, I'm screaming my lungs out for it to stop. A tightening of my throat and a short intake of breathe.
I'm praying that everything will end soon, everything will be fine.
Begging, repeating the same words
"Please"
"Please stop"
There's no one or nothing there to help me, the pain is too much, if a gun has been to hand, I will shot myself in the head. Death is preferable then continuous pain like thousands of venomous blades piercing my body apart. All I could do is to shut my eyes, bearing the pain as I scream helplessly. There is no hope left when he tapped my mouth, turning me mute.
I can do nothing, nothing to defend myself. Feel the pain, my teeth did down into my bottom lip as he pounded against my limp body and ripped in and out of the dry cavity between my legs. Tonight, I'm ripped and ejaculate into a lifeless doll.
That lifeless doll happens to be me.
Cloud in sadness, unfairness, madness, there's nothing can beat my fear of who's this person is. Don't move. How come I mistook Chaengie's voice? But it could never be him.
NEVER.
Throwing aside the thought of, what if's.
What if, it happens at the hands of the people whom you trust the most.
What if, it happens at the hands of the people who protected you in the past.
What if, it happens at the hands of your best friend.
Why my reluctance not enough to make you stop?
Why are my tears no enough?
Is it my fault, for being too weak to fight?
Why, why we ended up like this?
Why are you doing this to me?
You are my best friend.
Finally, this is going to end. Urrgh, he's so heavy. I don't think I can do this anymore, fortunately only a few stairs then we'll get to his room. God, I'm late for home it's almost twelve sharp, my parents will scold me.
I support him to walk to his room and flop him into the bed as I sit on the floor, catching air. I stand and fix his sleeping position, basically his habit to sleep lying on his stomach. Take his shoes off, socks and put him under a blanket.
There's no light, but the blackness little by little fading as the moon guides me through the night. His face lights up by the moonlight creep from the window. How come he's this good looking while sleeping? I thought to myself before tap his forehead saying goodnight. He groans a bit which reminds me of old times when he always did that whenever he's mad. I smile then turn around heading to the door but stop when my hand grabbed from behind.
Chaeyoung says a word that I couldn't understand. He's basically mumbling something, I walk closer and sit on my knees leaning against his bed trying to catch his word. He keeps his mouth shut for a moment then again says something I don't get. I laugh at myself for taking a drunk person's word seriously. I'm about to stands as I thought he has fallen asleep, but to my surprise, he cups my cheeks, staring into me. I'm caught off guard. He leans closer and we are so close, my heart could explode. I pull away only for him to tighten his grip until it's hurt.
"This is bad"
I quickly lift my hand and held his arms, hesitantly look up to him, the swirl of emotion I see there makes me gasp. Lust, desire and..... fear? However, before I could ponder about it further, he brings me close until there's no gap between us. His lips brush mine, I try to pull away but he is was too strong, besides my body seems not listening to me. Urged myself to push away but couldn't, my body begin to tremble uncontrollably. I've never in this uncomfortable state when I'm with Chaengie but somehow, now I am.
His head angled slightly to the side of his lips came closer and closer to mine. I couldn't think straight, lots of things going through my mind as our lips met. My body goes rigid with surprise, it's a gentle, soft kiss with its flicker of warmth. I don't respond to the kiss, my hand shaking slightly, my mind is repeating the same sentence over and over Don't do this, don't do this but the sound of my heart is beating so loud, I couldn't concentrate.
His hand moves from my cheeks to the back of my head. His fingers tangling in my long hair, lightly pulling me into him, adding pressure to our lips, deepening the kiss. My heart aches, I couldn't bring myself. At this moment, I know something is just wrong, everything is wrong. He is drunk, he might not even remember what happened the next day. With that, I push him with my hand that rest against his chest. He looks at me then smile, that annoying smile.
I take shallow breaths and without saying a word, I leave with my back facing him heading to the door. I feel guilty and shame at the same times. It just a mistake, I convince myself.
"I like you. A lot."
I froze as I held the doorknob, I could sense his presence standing behind me as I turn to face him again.
"More than a friend, more than a brother, more than what we are now" He adds. He sounds so pained, so remorseful. Before I could say anything, he grips my forearms, walks me two steps until I'm against the wall. He closes the gap, fingers tightening on my arms, squeezing so there's almost pain. His mouth possessive and rough, I couldn't react but stand stiff until reality hits me and I try to push him.
Instead of backing away, his hand move sliding up my thigh, to my shirt, pushing it inappropriately high. The heat of his palm sliding over my skin leave he owns it. I know I should try harder or just run, but WHY?! My body can't move. It's like I'm in a state of panicking until I let his hands roaming around my body.
I look up, meet his eyes, and thought to myself that this is not him. This guy is not my best friend, he is NOT the Chaeyoung that I know for a long time. And this guy just lost and unaware of what he's doing. I collect myself, and step on his feet hard, feeling the guilty rush through me as he grunted. I leave him and walk away, I know it just a mistake and I have to leave the place as soon as possible before anything happens.
I should run.
Heading downstairs, with high heels what do I expect? My foot kicks the other and I start hurdling forward. I take a deep breathe in as I close my eyes and hear the thudding of my body hitting the stairs. When the rolling stops, bruises all over my arms, sprained ankle. I struggle to stand as I chanted repeatedly I need to leave but my muscle is so weak, I fall and hit my head on the edge of the stairs rails. Everything becomes fuzzy; then I see nothing at all.
* * * *
This feels weird
What's going on?
Where I am?
I open my eyes, feeling dizzy. I'm wide awake but I couldn't see anything, everything is a complete dark, not even the slightest moonlight, no nothing. Soon I feel some sort of fabric or maybe it's cloth wraps around my eyes. That when I realized, I'm blindfolded.
Confused, mad, terrified, I call for Changie, but there's no response. I start to cry as I learn to know that my hands are tied up into something, I guess a headboard bed since I'm lying with a pillow on. Random and absurd thought lingering through my mind. Feeling the bitter cold chilled every inch of my body into clumsy numbness, cold into my toes and spread painfully throughout my whole body. I'm doubting that I'm on my clothes, 'cause I know at this moment, I'm not.
I'm shivering, my teeth chattering as I try to reach Chaengie, calling, shouting his name again and again in desperate of need. I need help. I start to think if this is just a dumb weird dream but it's not, what I'm going through right now is actually happening and I can't release myself no matter how hard I try, only hurting my wrist and straining my voice.
"Don't move"
I stop upon hearing a voice. It's deep and low sounding, something familiar. "C-Chaengie?" I call, recognizing the voice. I heard no response but the sound of approaching feet and heavy breath. The volume is overly loud in my own ears, along with the booming of my heartbeat. I'm soaked with sweat as again I call for help.
The footsteps nearing me until it stops, I have funny thoughts that I'll be saved when actually it's only the beginning of my torment. I gasp for air when I feel sharp pressure on my stomach as if a rock just was thrown at me. Nausea creeps from my abdomen to my head, it feels like someone has taken a knife to my skull. I could only concentrate on the pain that rooted deep. I lost track of my surrounding, as my hearing senses goes fuzzy. I barely hear the pitter-patter of little feet and loud thumping footsteps against the floor, slowly fades away.
I lay there, face closed in a grimace while my skin goes clammy. I heave and try to push the dizziness aside, concentrate on escaping. My hands and ankle tangled as I tossed around, trying to free away. Every few minutes I would scream. Not so long, I sense the silence footsteps again heading towards me.
I feel bodyweight on the bed. I cry harder, shouting harder, fight harder as a pair of cold hands roam against my skin. Feeling the pressure of someone on top of me, letting this man do whatever he wants, unable to fight back.
Feel his forcefully, explore my mouth with his tongue, hands slid between my legs. His heavy breathing into my left ear as his body shove itself inside of mine. Crying uncontrollably, I couldn't stop it, I'm screaming my lungs out for it to stop. A tightening of my throat and a short intake of breathe.
I'm praying that everything will end soon, everything will be fine.
Begging, repeating the same words
"Please"
"Please stop"
There's no one or nothing there to help me, the pain is too much, if a gun has been to hand, I will shot myself in the head. Death is preferable then continuous pain like thousands of venomous blades piercing my body apart. All I could do is to shut my eyes, bearing the pain as I scream helplessly. There is no hope left when he tapped my mouth, turning me mute.
I can do nothing, nothing to defend myself. Feel the pain, my teeth did down into my bottom lip as he pounded against my limp body and ripped in and out of the dry cavity between my legs. Tonight, I'm ripped and ejaculate into a lifeless doll.
That lifeless doll happens to be me.
Cloud in sadness, unfairness, madness, there's nothing can beat my fear of who's this person is. Don't move. How come I mistook Chaengie's voice? But it could never be him.
NEVER.
Throwing aside the thought of, what if's.
What if, it happens at the hands of the people whom you trust the most.
What if, it happens at the hands of the people who protected you in the past.
What if, it happens at the hands of your best friend.
End of Withered Chapter 14. Continue reading Chapter 15 or return to Withered book page.