Withered - Chapter 46: Chapter 46

The hour of midnight is at hand, for Chaeyoung, it has been a tough day and now the cold breeze comes around from tree to tree and gently waving. He stands leaning on the balcony rail, seemingly watching the shining bright stars---it is so brilliant that the plain lay like a phosphorescent sea beneath him. He has just finished writing a worth four pages story inside the colourful book then goes outside with the intention to breath some fresh air, and lucky him to be awarded by a clean and newly gentle wind.
Unlike usual there's no thought surging or clouding his mind. He has no worries. Maybe it's the satisfaction of confessing? To finally stop watching there at the sidelines, admiring silently and step forward to announce that hidden love. He could have just kept his feeling but the urge to tell the girl is pumping in his organ because, he always wonders, questioning that maybe, maybe she feels the same way. It's all about one single thing---Hope. But since those hopes are crushed completely, he can also stop thinking and ponder himself as he already has the answer for those question. In the end, he is in ease.
Chaeyoung flinch when he heard his cell phone ring. He reaches into his pocket and digs out the phone. A small smile curve across his face as he looks at the caller.
[Hi]
He chuckles hearing the awkwardness in her voice with an apology for bothering him, she's always like that without any knowledge that the guy has come to value her presence although they don't talk much. He then back to tilt his head upward, gazing at the blinking fairy lights in the night.
"Hi"
[So...how are you doing?]
"Fi---I'm not fine"
[I appreciate your honesty.] She is smiling though her tone sounds concerned.
"Anyway, thank you for persuading me to confess. I've been thinking about it but I keep procrastinate until you give me words of encouragement. I owe you something,"
[.....]
"Irene-sii?"
[Oh yeah...Umm it looks like it didn't turn out well]
"Yeah"
Chaeyoung sigh, long and slow. Releasing his grip on the rail and looks down on the floor before he sits and hugs his knees. Still facing the canopy above. The latter arc an eyebrow when there's no reply from the other side, he opens his mouth to say something but got interrupted.
[.....Chaeyoung sii, I was hoping that she'll finally see the light in your eyes when you gaze at her and appreciates you for the kind of person you are. Because you're more than enough. Hoping that she'll hold your hands when you feel cold or anxious, tells you goodnight, letting you sleep without feeling unwanted, checks on you when you feel lonely and no one is around to give your warmth, makes times for you and include you in her list of priorities, and understand you. I genuinely hope she'll love you exactly just the way you are.].......Because I would have loved you.
It caught him by surprise that he has to take a second or two registering her statement. He let out an awkward laugh and clear his throat.
".....Haha now it's my turn to be speechless"
[For your happiness, you need to surround yourself with people who respect you and accept you for your virtues and flaws. You deserve someone better]
And that strikes him, hitting him hard.
"I know..but I don't want better, I want her and I can't help it..... And she said that she still needs me"
[You're blind and stupid. Stop treating yourself like a toy]
Although she comes out calm and expressionless, he could sense the sharpness in her voice and how serious the conversation is.
Silence.
"I'm sorry"
[I have to go]
"Ah, okay good night Iren----" He heard a beeping sound, indicating that the call has ended. He doesn't finish his talking when she just cut him off. Chaeyoung breathes out and stands, then goes inside his room. He cleans himself and changes into his pyjamas, preparing to sleep. Lying in bed and, just as he's about to turn his bedside lamp off, his phone rings again. He reaches for it and answers without looking at the caller.
"Hello?"
[.....I'm sorry for earlier. And goodnight too Chaeyoung sii]
Hearing her voice, the guy knows exactly who she is. As if in instant, her calls bring a small joy to him. He smiles unknowingly and nods though she can't see him. The call between them ends for the second time, both bring different outcomes, at least for him. He falls asleep without that heavy feelings he felt after the first call but allowing his lips to turn into a slight smile of gratitude.
*  *  *  *
Irene put her phone down the table, she works the night shift at the convenience store. Since there's rarely someone will stop an hour past midnight so, she decides to sit outside where there are two sets of plastic folding table and chairs. Though it's a bit cold, she likes it better than standing inside the convenience store, with the warm mugginess of the room. On a certain level, she knows to work the night shift is a dangerous job but it pays more. She's been lying about it to her mom, knowing that her mother will not allow it because it was never a question of if she will ever get robbed, but when. That's the reason for the existence of the pepper spray that has been always inside her pocket. Just in case.
She wraps her hands around the plastic coffee cup, trying to soak up the weak heat leaching through the sides. Now, she is thankful by the warmth and the coffee, even if it does tastes like stale pencil shavings. She looks over her phone when there is a message arrives, without opening it, she reads it by pulling down the notification bar.
Again it's him, commanding her to get back to her work and finish it once and for all as soon as they back from Jeju Island. She is on the verge of giving up, surrender, forget her feelings and move on without any notice. That's why she persuade Chaeyoung to confess his love for Mina, after she has convinced that Mina will take care of him and love him just as much as he does. Then, she'll gladly leave, refusing the offer, face the consequences and find another alternative to support her mother and herself. And let them live happily.
But it isn't the case.
By her conversation with Chaeyoung, she learns to know that Mina takes him for granted and in fact, she does not even have any feeling for him. Irene made up her mind, that she'll do it. Those sinful things. She'll do it until the end, without any guiltiness or hesitancy. Not because of money, nor because she's afraid, but now it's all about him. Chaeyoung.
"You lose your chance and I'll fight for him, Mina sii"
*  *  *  *
A strong and sweet smell brings Chaeyoung fully awake. As he got out of bed and to his feet, he could smell the aroma of fresh-baked bread mixed with the sweet-spicy aroma of gingerbread. He has sleep straight through the night, although drowsy, he feels rested. He cleans himself before he walks through the living room into the bright warm kitchen where the aroma is thicker.
Three trays of golden gingerbread men cookies rest on the counter bar with another tray of chocolate cupcakes. A bag of plastic and small box scattered on the dining table. Mina is standing at the stove with her back toward him, stirring a heavy cast-iron pot while humming a song. Chaeyoung grip the edge of the dark marble countertop, unsure of whether to disturb the girl or not. Well, that isn't the real question, he is battling if he would hug her or not. And in the end, he chooses to abandon the small affection.
"Mina" He calls out.
She whirls and clearly surprised, then smiles upon seeing him. The girl walks closer with a silicone spatula in hand, she has been scraping the bottom and sides of a bowl to prevent lumps in her strawberry whipped cream frosting. "I'm sorry if I woke you up," She says apologetically.
"Well, yeah, by the horrible smells of this cookies" He commented, turning his face away as to hide his smiles. He waits for a smack on his arms or continuous nags but nothing. He faces her and to his surprise, she is crying, no she weeps bitter tears of disappointment. Chaeyoung spits an awkward and guilty chuckle as he lifts her chin and caresses her cheeks. "Hey, I'm just kidding," He says panicky while Mina keeps avoiding his face. The cub hunch to finds her eyes and again lift her head up "It smells really good. I'm just joking. Don't take it seriously. Hey, look at me please?" It is then he immediately hugs her and strokes her hair. The girl embraces him back but slowly her hands drifting to his side, giving it a full pinch while twisting it.
Chaeyoung breath hitch as he feels like pins poking his skin "Ooouch, Uhu kay that's hurt" He cries out and tries to pull away but Mina's grip tightens. He who's like a deer in headlights just standing there, accepting his punishment as his face changed the colour of an over-ripe tomato. They're both gazing at each other with hard staring eyes. Mina who has her eyes squinting meanly, finally release her hands. The guy instantly takes a step backwards, and rub the side of his stomach.
"A-are you like literally just acting crying just now? Woah I'm impressed Mina sii" He scoffs, finding a place to support himself as well as keeping a distance from her, and the dining table sounds like a good idea. He squats with arms hanging on the edge of the table, gasping for some air.
"You deserved that" Bellowed the brunette as she moves back to the kitchen and fills the piping bag with the whipped cream she made earlier.
Chaeyoung watches her from afar and smiles when Mina mindlessly loads up the pastry bag. He stands and heads towards her while shaking his head, stopping in front of the girl, separated by the countertop. He leans forward, bending a little as he rests his elbow on the counter with chin in his hand. "Mina, do you know a coupler? Wait no, how about a pastry tip?"
"What's that?"
He involuntarily laughs then quickly shut his mouth as the girl eyed him with a blank face. He moves to her side and grabs another piping bag before searching for a coupler and tips on the cabinet. As he found the supplies he needs, he glances over her and smiles as he rolls up his sleeves. "Look, this one is a pastry tip" He lifts a metal nozzle that is an open star tip "You have to insert it beforehand, so your frosting won't be messy when applying. We have a different shape for decorating, like from a star-shaped tip to a writing tip"
Chaeyoung proceeds with his baking class you may say, then grab a white piece of plastic, with a base and ring "While this is a coupler. If you intend to change pastry tips, you'll need this. Without it, you have to completely empty the bag to change tips. Or you would have to start another pastry bag and have three or four with different tips going at the same time. Not that much effective" He ends his teaching with a small smile then helps Mina to fill another piping bag, with a coupler and tip.
She watches him silently without any complaint which he finds a bit odd but brush the thought. Chaeyoung continues with frosting the chocolate cupcake. His brow connected as he paid more attention than usual. He squeezes the icing gently out of the nozzle, does the first drop of frosting and spiral around in a circle, creating a rose lookalike. And lastly, adding a colourful sprinkle on top.
In that meantime, Mina sometimes shifts her eyes to the cupcakes but soon her eyes find him, again. She does not really think of anything and there's no particular reason at all, it just that, the way Chaeyoung appear right now is somehow comforting and warming. She finally allows the long stares and let it notice his subtle expression and gestures his make. Learning to read his face.
"Done" He clasped his hands together and face her. "Now it's your turn"
Mina clears her throat and immediately look away. She steps forward and takes the piping bag while he gives her a cupcake to decorate. "How do you even know how to do this kind of things?" She opens up a random conversation as to cover the fact that she just stared at him for a very long time---which according to her, is creepy.
Before he answers, Mina turns around and smile apologetically "I'm sorry. I almost forgot" It hit her like a truck when she realizes her question, that is rather sensitive for him. He was in 1st grade when his school held activities for parent's day, but unfortunately, his father couldn't come due to work and Mina's parents were abroad. It was an activity to bake a cake with your parents and a kind and understanding little boy he is, he did it alone with the help of his teacher. It was a happy and lovely day, but he was bullied right after causing him to transfer to another school.
Chaeyoung just smiles and gesture her to continue with the frosting. Mina holds the piping bag and presses the tip directly against the surface, not giving the filling anywhere to go. She changes her grip and squeezes it recklessly, making a whole whipped cream spills over the cupcake. He emits giggles and settles down behind the girl. He wraps his arms around her, placing his hands above hers while he takes another cupcake.
"You need to hold the bag toward the top with your dominant hand," He says and guides her hand to the right place "While your left is to keep it steady as you pipe"
He applies pressure to the bag until the filling begins to flow out and start to pipe slowly. Her hands move with his, feeling small under his own warmth and strength. He has that baby soft hands but with a firm grasp. Maybe because he is so near, she couldn't concentrate that much which is very unlikely. She could feel the heat radiating off his body, his breath is warm against her neck as he leaned over. Glancing to her side, she caught a glimpse of him, face with full concentration. With the approximately no space between them, she isn't sure whether it is her own heartbeat or is it him that is pounding hard.
Chaeyoung looks over his shoulder and their eyes meet. For a second it is like gentle observation, and they are trying to decode the "visual language" spoken by them. His eyes trail from those ordinary orbs to her nose and lastly to her lips. He put his hand up to her face, touching her with his fingertips as he leans in closer and closer until his breath caresses her mouth. She swallows the tightness in her throat, feeling like she's suddenly having a headache by the dizziness.
She is paralyzed and shivered with a feeling very close to delight, but there is something that smashes her with reality. That mindset that, she is still committed to someone else.
And with that, Mina turns her head away. Chaeyoung stops in his track and drops his head. His heavy breathing could be heard by her and no one can describe how guilty she is and how awkward the situation is. He withdraws his hands and mutters a simple. "Sorry"
Few minutes passed and the kitchen fills with unbearable silence. She turns to face him and maybe apologize or anything because she can't stand to be in an uncomfortable state with him. Surprisingly, the girl meets with his smiling face before he dabs a small mountain of whipped cream on her cheeks. Mina closes her eyes from the impact and scoff as she wipes her face. He could not stop laughing, it echoes in the house, maybe it's true happiness or maybe it's a forced laugh.
"Where do you want it, Mister, cuz you're going to get it now" It isn't a question and she pops up the lid off a whipped cream spray that is just beside her. But before she could do anything, he grabs both her hands while sticking his tongue out. Mina kicks her knee causing him to releases his grip and crouch while faking a cry. Mina takes the opportunity to spray his face and down to his shirt as she laughs at the devastated look of him. Covering him with a good solid spray.
"I got you now," He says standing up and pointing at the can. He presses the lever and heard nothing but empty air. He lifts the can and stares at it. "I should've let you buy more" He gazes at her with a defeated expression and sighs "Not fair"
Mina walk to him and wrap her arms around his neck as she hugs him, smiling. Both of them are covered with creams but neither of them bothered by it "You remembered" She whisper, referring to the whipped cream fights they'd in high school.
"Always"