Withered - Chapter 54: Chapter 54
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Jeongyeon waits for arriving passenger, he prepares early and be the first person that stands before the gate. Soon after, there's an announcement of the plane's arrival from America to South Korea. It quickly brings a wide smile across his face as he sees his brother, walking with difficulty as his bags weighed him.
"Mark" Jeongyeon mutters as their eyes meet, the said guy smiles and runs towards him and exchange manly hugs.
"Hyung" Mark smiles. Jeongyeon helps him by carrying his bags, which he knows full with informative and confidential papers.
"It's been a tough time for you," Jeongyeon says as he taps Mark's shoulder. They walk across the terminal into Jeongyeon's car. "Have you eat?" Jeongyeon asks as they walk pass by a restaurant. Mark shakes his head while rubbing his stomach. A fragrance invokes a long-forgotten memory, the smell of burnt rice coming from the restaurant. From Mark's peripheral view, he could see the chef scolding his junior for burning the rice then the wasted rice is thrown into the trash can.
"Can you cook me burnt rice porridge?" Mark started and gives his brother a meaningful smile, hoping that he doesn't open the old wound.
Jeongyeon looks at him momentarily. The first meal he ever cooked that taste heavenly that time though now he knows a vomit may taste better compared to that meal but back in the past, the meal that saved them from starvation. And now, no matter how tasty other food is, Mark always come back to the rice porridge as they grew up with it. Jeongyeon hates anything that related to the old memories, as it traps him in invisible barriers that confine and leave him heavy with desperation. But, back then; he was just a child, so immature, pure and insecure. It was a stormy day and he was scared of the sky. With enough pressure though, can change the best of us, including him.
"Okay"
* * * *
Irene heaves a deep sigh as she enters the room. Blue-grey bricks hold the cold inside the room as if it is collecting it. A single dancing light, projected from the last dying candle, flickered across the walls, moving to an unseen rhythm. To her left is a wood panel wall, separating her space from the other. Though by the room structure, she knows that the wood panel is placed to divide the same room into two parts. One is where she is waiting, and the other is for that man. It's the first time she receives a direct call from him asking if they can meet. With a little bit of hesitation, Irene agrees and soon a message containing an address appears on her phone.
Irene sinks into the only chair, waiting for his arrival. It's just then, she realizes a white cloth food cover on the table that attached to the wall. She eyed the cloth suspiciously and decides not to touch it. Few minutes pass, her ears perk as she heard a door open and shut, it creaking noise bringing a chill to her spine. It sounds like some dying animal, crying out its pain and sorrow with its last breath.
Her heart starts to race, in fear of the unknown and what kind of harm it might bring to her. Or maybe it's just her who's overthinking but everyone is for sure, no matter who can feel the black pitch aura coming from the other side of the room. The sickening feeling in her stomach makes things worst as if she's badly affected by those evil aura enveloping and progressively suffocating her.
The man's approaching footsteps clip-clopped down the bleached tile then she heard him sitting on the chair beside her. Irene glance to the wood panel wall and from the small opening she could see his arm and hand. Irene flinch when she heard a small deafening knock coming from the wall. She does the same, informing him that she is there. Listening.
"Your mother will be operated in America by the best surgeon around the globe. She'll be cured. You have my word" When he starts to talk his low, thunderous voice crashes like a wave through the room until the tiny room is filled with only his voice.
"Thank you" Irene praise herself that she doesn't stutter.
"And, as I've promised" A brown kraft paper slides from the small opening in the wall with a plane ticket tuck inside a passport- sitting on top of it. Irene put the passport aside and takes the kraft paper, opening the seal. Inside is a stack of printed paper, her grip tightens when she sees her father picture on the first page.
"T-thank you" She fails the second time not to stutters as she's filled with grief and misery. Her eyes begin to water causing her vision to be blurry but despite those, she still notices the burning mark on the man's upper arms when he slides the paper. From the small opening if the wall, she could conclude that he is wearing black sleeveless shirts, another few burned mark is visible on his shoulder.
"The photographer will track you. You know what to do while waiting for your mother's operation."
Irene subtly nods though the man couldn't see her. They've discussed the matter beforehand and her part in his plan. She only follows the command and whether it will work or not is out of her league. "Will he be there?" She asks, questioning the setup.
"He will. Or his beloved father will be chased after 1 trillion tax cheats and for burning 60 percent of foreign profits. As someone who starts the project, he must be there."
Irene's eyes widen as that large amount of money registered in her mind. She still blames herself to get involved in this messy situation and perhaps if she guards her heart better, she wouldn't be in a chaos dilemma and save her heart from heartbreak. "Please don't hurt him" She pleads.
Silence.
"It depends, Irene-sii"
After that reply, she heard him stands and his short crunch of footsteps sound further and further. Irene springs up and rushes towards the wall, her palms press against it as she brings her ear closer to the wall. Listening, if the man is still there.
"Why..why do you help me? For investigating my father's case, for paying my mother's expenses and even me" She finally asks the questions that always disturbing her. The reason she doubts the man is why he willing to help her.
Then there it is. Unavoidable nothingness. A quiet that is deafening. The deafness broke with ragged breaths and the beating of a human heart. At least, she knows he is a human with great intelligence and precision, as the master and how everything he plans is smoothly constructed.
"I believe, we suffered the same fate Irene-sii" The silence shatters like glass as his deep voice cut through it. From the small gap between the wood panel, she could see the man grin behind the wall. She couldn't comprehend whether it is a sad smile or a wicked grin or maybe both. One thing for sure, this man is dangerous. And Irene mentally noted to let her defence awaken.
Before the man left, Irene heard him talking once again, "Ah, I almost forgot. I've prepared a meal for you. Please eat" She turns her head to the food cover then heard a thud of the door closing. Irene has assumed that the guy is nowhere there anymore. She lifts the white piece of cloth and greeted by a hot meal in a white bowl and a spoon sits beside it.
'Burnt rice porridge?'
* * * *
Chaeyoung has been cleaning out their upper back bedroom, a room that sits virtually empty. When he's done, Mina approaches him with a glass of water and a bucket of paintbrushes. Since they have an empty place in their bedroom, the couple decides to make the room specifically for their child. Hence, the first step is to decorate the room for the baby.
"You know, you can leave it to me," Chaeyoung says as he put on the neck loop of the apron on mina and tie it in a knot. Mina smiles and does the same, stealing the chance to hug him while she crosses the apron's tie behind him. Chaeyoung wraps his arms around her waist. He playfully sways their body side to side, letting the nurturing touch of a hug get them out of circular thinking and connect them with their heart and their feelings and their breath.
"Let me be. I want to paint too" Mina finally pulls out and raise her chin, pouting as she looks at him. Chaeyoung bites his smiles and follows the girl, pushing his bottom's lips forward while shaking his head in disapproval. Mina whine but soon replaced with a little smirk on her face. Chaeyoung is about to say something, but Mina reaches out and silences him with a quick peck on the lips.
Mina laughs and breaks the hug as she brushes past the stunned guy, rooted in his place. She walks across the room to pick up a drop cloth, gloves, and straight-edge screwdriver then return to the cub.
"Here," She hands the screwdriver to him while gesturing to the paint can by the wall.
"That's a foul" Chaeyoung mutters, talking about how brave she is. Teasing his weakness. He sighs and shakes his head as he pries open the lid of one can, once he has tossed the lid aside, a whiff of chlorine and a strong sense of aerosol filling the room. He stirs the paint carefully, dips the brush, and pour it into the paint tray.
Mina takes the rollers while Chaeyoung shows her the sketches he has made for the painting, how he has plans to spray paint a bunch of colourful flowers with light pink as the background and on the other side of the wall shares the same background but with a shadow of a white oak tree and a drawing of a ballerina. Then the ceiling will be in sky blue with a small polka dot. He teaches her how to shades.
Chaeyoung starts the work by focusing on the left wall, painting the background while Mina is assigned on the other wall. Sometimes, he glances at her as he set up the spray gun. She stands on a step ladder in the room beside him. Other than being largely pregnant, she is slender. Her thin white arms are a stark contrast to the oversized, paint-spattered brown t-shirt that engulfs her stomach. Her hair is pulled back in a bun, but curly strands dances across her shoulder and upper arms. She wears no shoes, and stand on tiptoes to reach the highest part of the wall, stretching the arches of her tiny feet. She wears a concentrated, calm expression on her smooth face but it doesn't stay long when she fails to reach some part of the wall.
Hooking a foot around the opposing leg of the ladder to help anchor her, she leans further to the side. As she extends her arms, stretching her body to the limit "A little bit mo--accc!------" The final word mutates into a horror-stricken shriek when she tilts a fraction too far, throwing the ladder off balance. It pitches sideways, toppling her from her perch. Her hands instinctively wrap around her bump as the last resort to protect her baby.
Mina's life flashes before her eyes as she plummeted, her speedy descent ends abruptly and painlessly as the ladder hit with an ear-splitting crash. Stunned that she has miraculously avoided the same messy fate, she opens her eyes to discover she has landed in a pair of sturdy arms.
Chaeyoung's expression is troubled. His cheeks muscle stand out as a result of his clenched teeth. He holds her tighter in his arms, one arm under her legs and the other supporting her back.
Spontaneously, she buries her face in the crook of his neck where his arms already encircled around it, as she is in the middle of a desperate hug. The horror completely paralyzed her. She doesn't remember being that scared in her life. The thought of what if's Chaeyoung hasn't come in time, she'll definitely in severe injury and only within her knowledge, she herself and her baby almost get killed. The idea of the impact it could bring only makes it worse.
She catches her breath and draws away, her thoughts processes sluggishly returned to its normal settings where Chaeyoung is concerned----afraid and upsetting ambivalence. She chuckles awkwardly, snaking his hands from around his neck and presses them against his chest. His eyebrows dip further and Mina becomes aware of blood vessel pulsing in his temple. He's probably mad, upset and most importantly disappointed.
"I'm sorry" She mumbles, avoiding his eyes.
Chaeyoung could hear the quiver in her voice. His face softens as he let out a sigh. Contrary to what she thought that he's mad, the guy isn't at all. He blames himself for not helping her beforehand, disappointed at himself that he isn't mindful enough to stop Mina from using the ladder.
Mina sneaks a brief peek at his face, smiling when she sees his expression eased. She gives him a thank-you-for-saving-me-kiss on the cheeks. "I'll just watch then. I-I realize I'm no feather" She laughs.
"Yes, you are, more like a sack of wet cement" Chaeyoung shakes his head as the penguin swings her feet in annoyance because of his savage statement, making it harder for him to carry her to the only single chair in the corner of the room. He carefully lowering her down then draws a circle around the chair. "No ketchup for a week if you cross this line" Chaeyoung threaten, pointing to the line. Sulking, Mina cross her arms and refuse to look at him.
"Do you hurt yourself somewhere?" He adds, examining her when the girl doesn't answer him. After he has made sure that she's fine, Chaeyoung continues the works and by now only the ceiling left. He climbs the ladder up to the ceiling and uses the paint can lid as a stencil to trace out the polka dots circles on the ceiling with a lead pencil.
Chaeyoung dismounts the ladder and wipes his sweat with his gloves. He places his hand on his waist as the tiredness takes over him. He turns around, eyes finding Mina but expectedly he's meet with a wet sponge swimming in a paint hitting his face. He groans as he forces himself to open his eyes after that sticky liquid only to witness Mina with her tongue sticking out, mocking him before she runs away.
"That penguin" He huffs though he already predicts that Mina won't stay still on the chair and he's gratefully right.
* * * *
"No ketchup for a week," Chaeyoung says as he put the omelette rice on the dining table in front of Mina, usually her name and a small heart will be drawn on top of the egg using ketchup but now it just plain nothing.
Mina scoff and proceeds to eat while the guy secretly smiles. After all, ketchup isn't safe for pregnancy, since it can be contaminated with the Listeria virus--words from the health care provider which Chaeyoung has planted inside his mind.
They eat in silence, then a chorus of birds breaks the drone of the city traffic. Sunlight shines behind the glassy slides door warming the room. The autumn winds already blew keen and the mornings bring them to frost. A little more wait, autumn has sent a love letter to the winter to come.
"Let's watch the first snow together, hmm?" Chaeyoung asks, lightly tapping the table.
Mina keeps her mouth shut, not minding him. Looking as if she's in deep thought. He supposes that the girl probably still sulking about her ketchup hiatus. Chuckling, the Cub moves to her side bringing his meal together with him. He purposely nug her elbow, causing the penguin to glare at him.
"Now, now I'll get you an ice cream." He softly says, tucking away a strand of hair behind Mina's brown long hair.
Mina scoff and put the utensil down, turning to fully face the guy "Are you kidding me? Do you think I'm a kid?" She rage, slightly frowning.
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"Thank you" Mina smiles excitedly to the vendor as she reaches up with two hands to take the ice cream cone. She got herself a soft vanilla ice cream from the ice cream truck parked up the street, with a group of children surrounds it and they are the only young adult that stands out around that tiny kids. Mina happily waddles away, swinging her hand as she started towards the park.
Chaeyoung clears his throat, trying to force himself to act casual but failed in hiding his knowing grin. After paying for them and treating the children, he walks over to the bench and sits down next to Mina, who has a little circle of vanilla cream starting to form around her mouth. Chaeyoung decides not to wipe it off just yet. Let her enjoy it. He thinks.
When they finish, Chaeyoung wipes her lips with his handkerchief then runs over to the trash can to throws out the used napkins. "Let's buy baby clothes?" He suggested while intertwining their hands, walking leisurely to his car. Mina nods and hugs his arms, seeming like she has forgotten her ketchup.
They spend the day shopping for the baby, got all the bottles, got tons of diapers, got the crib and put it all together. They're basically putting together the nursery for the baby. Coloured in mostly pink because their baby is for sure a girl. They even get all the little things, the mobile over the crib and little toys-- which they have wasted an hour because Chaeyoung is having too much fun in the toy store, looking as if the toy is for him.
At the same time, Chaeyoung is building the crib and arranging the nursery just right, Mina is elsewhere buying baby clothes of course. Not just typical pyjamas, tops, pants, socks, etc. She is buying the best of everything, spending hundreds thousand of won, not to anyone surprise or Chaeyoung's, naturally. Part of him wants to tell Mina that they don't have to spend all the money on clothes, there are much more other important things but Mina is just too excited and he doesn't really mind when it comes to the brunette and their first child.
Luckily for Chaeyoung, Mina is only hormonal during her first trimester. When she is getting bigger, her mood changing becomes less severe. As for the due date, it is rapidly approaching, late December to be specific, two months left. They still have yet to decide names for their baby. Hence, later that afternoon, after they've done shopping, Mina brings up the topic as she rests on the bed, leaning against the headboard "Chaeyoungie, we haven't yet named the baby" Mina says. Chaeyoung who's arranging Iberis flowers in the vase halt then tilts his head to the side, thinking for a name.
"How about you? Do have any in mind?" He asks the girl but receives a simple no. Indeed Mina has been thinking about it a lot but nothing comes to her liking. She couldn't find any nice name and thought the job is better given to Chaeyoung since the guy is a literatus. A man with letters.
Chaeyoung hums and walks to the window, he eyed the yard where the colourful flowers gracefully bloom. His gaze then caught the empty large wooden box where Lilies were once tight-budded. Chaeyoung smiles and turns around, looking at Mina.
"Lily"
* * * *
Twilight has fallen, only the faintest of light shines through the leaves and soon it grows dark. Chaeyoung is in a state of shocks as Irene gives him her resignation letter. Though Chaeyoung has already excuse her absence this past few days--thinking that the maid probably encounters some problem, Irene suddenly appears just to inform him that she hopes to quit the job and thank the guy for his care.
"If that's what you want, then I can't stop you," Chaeyoung says then walk to his room. Soon after he's back with a white envelope in his hand containing some cheque--more than her salary should be. Irene, knowing what inside politely push his hand and smiles.
"I am thankful for your kindness, but since I didn't come to work, there shouldn't be any payment for this month." She bows and still determines not to take the money no matter how many time the guy persuade her. "Can I have a small talk with Mina-sii?"
Chaeyoung sigh because she refuses the money when he sincerely hopes it can help her in the future. He puts the envelope on the table and smiles as he points upstairs where Mina is currently reading a book in their room. Irene reciprocated the smile but instead of climbing the stairs, she walks herself to the kitchen.
Irene glance to her side, relief that Chaeyoung isn't following her. She prepares a warm glass of water and takes out the last two packet of white powder inside her handbag. She busies herself, pouring the powder inside and quickly stir it with a spoon, her trembles hand almost causing the glass to slip from her hands. Each click of the metal spoon hitting the surface of the glass echoed the tumultuous thudding of her heartbeat. Her face is rigid with tension. Another quick glance to her side, Chaeyoung is suddenly behind her.
"What are you doing? What's that?" He question, brows connected as his eyes is on the glass.
Irene takes a step backwards and furiously glance at him. With hands clasped tightly in front of her stomach, she constantly fiddles with her knuckles. She swallows her gut and smiles "I'm just preparing iron supplement for Mina-sii. I heard she develop anaemia, so for the last time I want to prepare her medicine."
Chaeyoung squint his eyes and the look of him show a slight suspicion but it only lasts for a few seconds before a wide smile crosses his cheeks. "As always, I'm the one who should be grateful. You shouldn't have. But thank you so much. I appreciate it Irene-sii"
Irene nods and walks upstairs. She glances at him and the guilt comes attacking her straight to her brain. She prays that one day she would feel removed from her sin, washed clean of it, but the guilt is a stain on her, an ugly scar. Only in her silent prayers could she speak her heart to God and beg for His mercy. But, what she had done she could not undo and what she has started needs to be done. If not, then no-one is stepping up to defend his father's case, feed her younger brother, help her mother and.....it also because of him, Chaeyoung.
"Are you leaving?" Mina asks as Irene finishes explaining. Though they aren't really in a good term from their last talk, still, Mina has her respect towards the older and still sees her as her senior sister. Irene nods as the answer to Mina's previous question. The younger sigh but soon smiles as she takes the glass of water that Irene offers and drink it all. "Thank you for the medicine...and everything"
Irene only nods then wordlessly leave the room. Her eyes are dull and empty as she steals a glance at Mina. Her movements are forced when she closes the door, shoulder slumped and dragged steps towards the first floor. Chaeyoung wants to send her to her house but Irene once again refuses, only letting the guy walks her up to his porch.
She bows again and about to leave but halt when she feels a tap on her shoulder. Chaeyoung smiles and leans closer to brush her bang that slightly poking her eyes. Instead of backing away, Irene standstill as she let his finger graze her forehead. He doesn't stop breathing when their face barely touches, nor there's awkwardness that takes over them. It's a normal gesture one's makes to anyone they comfortable with, showing that there's a place for her in his life.
Irene has her eyes shut, capturing the moment. It's painful that she already misses it even when she's still breathing in it. Not to your memory or maybe even Chaeyoung that this scene has happened once, but in a complete version---in their first meeting, where she helps him to get rid of the carrot peels on his forehead.
"Right there," Chaeyoung says as he withdraws. Irene smiles and thanks him, unexpectedly giving him a hug. The guy smiles warmly and taps her back, comforting her when he can feel water drops on his shoulder. However, as they pull away, only traces of tears left on her cheeks. They bid goodbye as Chaeyoung nods then sadly smile as he watches her figure getting further then disappear from his sight.
"I hope we'll meet again, Irene-sii"
* * * *
The night rides in on a horse of pure midnight velvet, beckoned by the stars under the glow of a full moon. Chaeyoung has his arms wraps around Mina as the penguin sits in the space between his legs. A blanket draped around them as a shield from the cooling breeze. The blinding city lights gradually subsided ever so subtly, filling the shadow-emitted sky with a pleasant silence.
They sit in the shade of an Apple tree that suspended its branches over the edges of the patio where in front of it is a hand-built bonfire just off the patio surface. Seats, cushions, and most importantly, penguin's plushie is arranged well and many different types of vegetable are set aside for a meal. Chicken is roasted and they eat together while having a small talk.
Mina glance at her wristwatch as they finish eating and back to their position, watching the starlight sings in infinite patterns. She glances at him, where Chaeyoung rests his chin above her shoulder. It's a look full of doubt, confusion, and hesitancy. She's waiting, waiting for Chaeyoung to tell her. After all, he needs to leave before midnight.
An hour before 12.
Chaeyoung is humming a lullaby while caressing Mina's bump. Still, in the patio, Chaeyoung doesn't say anything while Mina becomes more and more anxious but at the same time happy. Happy that they spend more time together, happy that Chaeyoung is there. The due is nearing and she's afraid that this will be the last time she ever sees him. No one knows how long Chaeyoung will take and when he's going to return, it can be after labour where she's probably won't be there, welcoming him.
30 minutes before 12.
"Min--"
"Chaeyou---"
Both chuckle when they call for each other at the same time. "What is it?" Mina asks, placing her hand above his as she sinks deeper in his arms.
"I have a dream," Chaeyoung says, softly whispering.
"Dream?"
The guy nods and from Mina's peripheral view, she could see his plump lips lift upward and his dimples wrinkles but it doesn't reach his dark eyes. They are lit with sadness, and the forced expression of the contrary on his mouth would have looked comical to Mina if it doesn't make her heart feel more and more heavier. For a few moments, Mina stares at him, almost sure his expression mirrored hers. It breaks her heart. She doesn't want him to leave. To be the smile that squeezed his chest somewhere far away. She doesn't want him to go. Wanting those smile to stay.
"You see, I'll build a wooden playhouse there in the yard. A place where our little bean will play around with her friend, making childhood memories. I'll work in the company and she'll be ready for kindergarten. You'll always scold us for waking up late, glaring at us with your wooden knot tying tool to threaten us to eat breakfast though we're late. In the weekends, we'll spend time together, our little bean will tell us everything she experienced in her preschool, we'll gardening together and at the end of the day, I'll read her a book to sleep then you'll sing a lullaby for our little bean. She'll be a smart kid, cause you are strict when it comes to education, talented because you'll teach her how to dance, Mina, you'll be a great mother." Chaeyoung smiles. The prettiest smiles he has ever worn, for it extends to his eyes and deep into his soul. He's purely happy and the dark eyes are nowhere to be seen.
"That's my dream, for us to be a happy family" Chaeyoung ends his talk, and squeeze a little tighter, pulling Mina closer to him. In that embrace, he cocooned her better than any butterfly-to-be. His smile though died when his eyes found Mina. The girl silently, let out the pearl-shaped tears that roll down her cheeks then small sniffles are heard. Chaeyoung instantly moves to her front and sits across the girl.
"Did I say something wrong?" He asks, worriedly wipes her tears with his thumb and pull her into a hug. He cooed her and caress Mina's hair when the girl doesn't say a word but let slow desolate tears run from her unblinking eyes and drips steadily into her nightshirt. The tip of her nose grows red so do her face, unable to speak, to breathe, nothing. The weight in her chest is too heavy and the padlock in her throat has no keys.
'I'm scared Chaeyoungie'
'I'm scared I'm not going to be there in your dream'
'I don't want you to leave'
'I don't want to be separated with you'
Mina's grip tighten. Her hug is stronger than anything Chaeyoung has ever known, as if holding him isn't quite enough. Mina wants to feel every ounce that he's press into every ounce that is hers. Rather than affection, the hug is tenser and symbolize differently, a hug of a small kid will give to her mother when she left the small kid on the first day of preschool.
"It's okay, Chaeyoungie" Mina breathe more slowly, her body melting into his embrace as every muscle lost its tension to the autumn breeze. She knows Chaeyoung don't have the heart to tell her up front and predicts that he'll leave a letter when she's asleep and left her, which exactly what Chaeyoung has in mind. Mina doesn't want a separation with no goodbye nor a proper talk. Seeing him get away from her will cause her to carry inexplicable pain. But sooner or later it will happen. Why bother to fight? To avoid?
Chaeyoung feels a germ seed of depression sits inside him, continuing to grow and sends out roots to choke the hope out of his heart. A hope that he'll always be there for her, through her hard time.
Mina pulls away, a faint wide smile curved her lips causing her eyes to form a crescent moon shape only to let the beads of water trailing one after another.
"You can go. I'll be waiting"
* * * *
Chaeyoung stares at the sleeping penguin in his arms. It's already midnight, past 12. The guy ignores the fact that he's late and that he's badly needed in America. His only attention is on the girl in front of her. Never crosses his mind that the girl overhead his conversation with his father. Thinking about it, now he knows why Mina seems to be different and anxious today. Chaeyoung wipes tears stain on her cheeks gently where his thumb accidentally brushes her lips.
"Kiss me"
Chaeyoung's eyes widen when Mina suddenly open her eyes. They stare into each other as Mina's words are still processing inside his mind.
"Mina" He whispers slowly, prolonging each letter as if to savour them. Mina smiles, her heart fluttering at his voice. She clasps her hands on either side of his face. She draws him toward her with her eyes. Chaeyoung inclined his face toward hers as she leans closer, her sleepy eyes closing.
Chaeyoung bent back her head across his arm and kiss her, softly at first, and then with a swift gradation of intensity that made her cling to him, as his hands wrap around her waist while hers locked around his neck pulling him down slightly. His insistent mouth is parting her shaking lips where it's firm against hers, but the kiss remained soft, gentle, slow and she knows she's kissing him back. They hold it for a few seconds before their lips begin to move in perfect sync, slowly, cautiously. Almost like catching a smile in a bottle, its softness, its sweetness. Mina forgets just how gentle the guy is and the way he tastes like cotton candy and midnights under turning galaxies.
His entire body has been taken over by the overwhelming feeling of sadness, combined with eccentric fear and lust. From the negative space between them, he could feel waters dripping to his face, down to their locked lips where he could taste the saltiness. Both from his and Mina's tears. Chaeyoung moves his hand from her waist to the back of her head, his fingers tangling in her long, dark chocolate hair and lightly pulling her, adding more pressure to their lips.
It's with that one kiss that Mina knows is too deep. His lips are not foreign to touch hers. For him, it's a goodbye and for Mina, it's a reason to hold on. She can feel herself tremble. Feels like a coward and selfish as in that moment, she regrets her decision to let him go. She wants him all by herself.
When they break apart for air, Mina rests her forehead against his and gathers some much-needed oxygen as she sobs and those thick streams running down to her chin. He draws back and spends a moment studying her face, gazing at her lovingly. His eyes softening with tenderness.
No words are spoken but a story worthy of them is communicated.
Mina sinks into his hold and dips her face on his solid chest while the guy places his chin above her head, stroking her hair. "Leaves when I'm asleep" She mumbles against him. Chaeyoung takes note of it then hums a ballad song as he continues caressing her hair.
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Mina never thought silence would be considered warm but there she is laying in her bed prepared to be sweep away by the hope that her sleep would be filled by light. Her swollen eyes start to get sore and painful as her consciousness ebbed. She feels this blackness come over her. Like a blanket, but not a blanket of warmth but a blanket of coldness making her shiver. But somehow it's making her eyes feel heavier and heavier. No matter how bad she wants to stay awake, just for a little bit more time with him, but her mind dragged her into the oblivion of sleep.
Chaeyoung sigh when he has makes sure that the girl is in dreamland and slowly peels himself off and tucked her under the duvet. He prepares all the document he needs, putting it inside his black backpack then ring Sana and Tzuyu to accompany Mina through the night. After packing all the papers, he returns to Mina and sits on the edge of the bed. He holds her hand while waiting for the girl's older sister.
Soon after, he heard a car pulled into the parking space and he has guessed it's Sana and Tzuyu. Chaeyoung smiles bitterly and turns his gaze to Mina, the guy leans in and lightly kiss her eyes.
"I love you" He whispers then trails his eyes to Mina's bump. He caresses it and lightly kisses her stomach as if he's biding his goodbye to their baby. "Little bean, take care of your mother, okay" He smiles and slowly pulls his hand away from Mina's grasp but to his surprise, the girl catches his finger and pull it back towards her. In that split of a second, Chaeyoung wants to take off his backpack and lay down beside her, deciding to stay. But before his thought registered and his action follows, Mina slowly loosens her grip and turns around, facing the other side.
Chaeyoung sigh and brings his hands to his pocket, digging out the dark blue velvet ring box that always with him. He opens the small box revealing a gold eternity rings. He takes them out and wears one then put the other beside Mina's pillow. "It's a promise ring. When you look at it, I hope it reminds you of my promises to never stop loving you and that my heart will always be true" He says softly then stands. Chaeyoung knows the more he's contemplating, the farewell seems to be impossible and more painful. Hence, without a single glance, he leaves the room.
* * * *
"Is there something wrong?" Tzuyu asks when Chaeyoung hasn't moved from his place for over an hour. He clasps the strap of his bag tightly and turns to Tzuyu. The look of his face is restless when his eyes quiver and he couldn't stop from chewing his inner cheeks. He's having a constant sense of fear, even when there's nothing to be scared of, but it seems like his mind telling him differently that there is something to worry about.
"I.....I have a bad feeling about this, Tzuyu-yah" Chaeyoung confess, stating the suffocating feeling of dread and foreboding that affects him. He leaves with no choice as the director of the project he once assigned suddenly went missing together with the acknowledgement of the receipt issued through internet banking as the proof of income payment tax and over billions of dollars are burns. As someone who's responsible, his presence is desperately needed. Trapped, it feels wrong, as if another step will cause him to lose everything he has left behind just because of his 'responsibility'
"We'll take care of Mina-noona, you don't have to worry" Tzuyu pat his brother's shoulder, assuring him that he's probably overthinking. The younger lightly push him when someone approaching them, their father's secretary. Specially assigned to assist Chaeyoung in boarding their personal jet plane.
Chaeyoung presses his lips, then sigh for the nth time. He forces a smile, and lightly punch Tzuyu's arms. "Then, I'm relying on you. Take care of her well." With that, he pushes his legs to moves though the more steps he takes the heavier he feels. Chaeyoung shakes his head to brush the negative thoughts, thinking he's being paranoid. He let out a big lump of air and tries to think positively.
"I hope there is a happy ending awaiting us, Mina yah"
"Mark" Jeongyeon mutters as their eyes meet, the said guy smiles and runs towards him and exchange manly hugs.
"Hyung" Mark smiles. Jeongyeon helps him by carrying his bags, which he knows full with informative and confidential papers.
"It's been a tough time for you," Jeongyeon says as he taps Mark's shoulder. They walk across the terminal into Jeongyeon's car. "Have you eat?" Jeongyeon asks as they walk pass by a restaurant. Mark shakes his head while rubbing his stomach. A fragrance invokes a long-forgotten memory, the smell of burnt rice coming from the restaurant. From Mark's peripheral view, he could see the chef scolding his junior for burning the rice then the wasted rice is thrown into the trash can.
"Can you cook me burnt rice porridge?" Mark started and gives his brother a meaningful smile, hoping that he doesn't open the old wound.
Jeongyeon looks at him momentarily. The first meal he ever cooked that taste heavenly that time though now he knows a vomit may taste better compared to that meal but back in the past, the meal that saved them from starvation. And now, no matter how tasty other food is, Mark always come back to the rice porridge as they grew up with it. Jeongyeon hates anything that related to the old memories, as it traps him in invisible barriers that confine and leave him heavy with desperation. But, back then; he was just a child, so immature, pure and insecure. It was a stormy day and he was scared of the sky. With enough pressure though, can change the best of us, including him.
"Okay"
* * * *
Irene heaves a deep sigh as she enters the room. Blue-grey bricks hold the cold inside the room as if it is collecting it. A single dancing light, projected from the last dying candle, flickered across the walls, moving to an unseen rhythm. To her left is a wood panel wall, separating her space from the other. Though by the room structure, she knows that the wood panel is placed to divide the same room into two parts. One is where she is waiting, and the other is for that man. It's the first time she receives a direct call from him asking if they can meet. With a little bit of hesitation, Irene agrees and soon a message containing an address appears on her phone.
Irene sinks into the only chair, waiting for his arrival. It's just then, she realizes a white cloth food cover on the table that attached to the wall. She eyed the cloth suspiciously and decides not to touch it. Few minutes pass, her ears perk as she heard a door open and shut, it creaking noise bringing a chill to her spine. It sounds like some dying animal, crying out its pain and sorrow with its last breath.
Her heart starts to race, in fear of the unknown and what kind of harm it might bring to her. Or maybe it's just her who's overthinking but everyone is for sure, no matter who can feel the black pitch aura coming from the other side of the room. The sickening feeling in her stomach makes things worst as if she's badly affected by those evil aura enveloping and progressively suffocating her.
The man's approaching footsteps clip-clopped down the bleached tile then she heard him sitting on the chair beside her. Irene glance to the wood panel wall and from the small opening she could see his arm and hand. Irene flinch when she heard a small deafening knock coming from the wall. She does the same, informing him that she is there. Listening.
"Your mother will be operated in America by the best surgeon around the globe. She'll be cured. You have my word" When he starts to talk his low, thunderous voice crashes like a wave through the room until the tiny room is filled with only his voice.
"Thank you" Irene praise herself that she doesn't stutter.
"And, as I've promised" A brown kraft paper slides from the small opening in the wall with a plane ticket tuck inside a passport- sitting on top of it. Irene put the passport aside and takes the kraft paper, opening the seal. Inside is a stack of printed paper, her grip tightens when she sees her father picture on the first page.
"T-thank you" She fails the second time not to stutters as she's filled with grief and misery. Her eyes begin to water causing her vision to be blurry but despite those, she still notices the burning mark on the man's upper arms when he slides the paper. From the small opening if the wall, she could conclude that he is wearing black sleeveless shirts, another few burned mark is visible on his shoulder.
"The photographer will track you. You know what to do while waiting for your mother's operation."
Irene subtly nods though the man couldn't see her. They've discussed the matter beforehand and her part in his plan. She only follows the command and whether it will work or not is out of her league. "Will he be there?" She asks, questioning the setup.
"He will. Or his beloved father will be chased after 1 trillion tax cheats and for burning 60 percent of foreign profits. As someone who starts the project, he must be there."
Irene's eyes widen as that large amount of money registered in her mind. She still blames herself to get involved in this messy situation and perhaps if she guards her heart better, she wouldn't be in a chaos dilemma and save her heart from heartbreak. "Please don't hurt him" She pleads.
Silence.
"It depends, Irene-sii"
After that reply, she heard him stands and his short crunch of footsteps sound further and further. Irene springs up and rushes towards the wall, her palms press against it as she brings her ear closer to the wall. Listening, if the man is still there.
"Why..why do you help me? For investigating my father's case, for paying my mother's expenses and even me" She finally asks the questions that always disturbing her. The reason she doubts the man is why he willing to help her.
Then there it is. Unavoidable nothingness. A quiet that is deafening. The deafness broke with ragged breaths and the beating of a human heart. At least, she knows he is a human with great intelligence and precision, as the master and how everything he plans is smoothly constructed.
"I believe, we suffered the same fate Irene-sii" The silence shatters like glass as his deep voice cut through it. From the small gap between the wood panel, she could see the man grin behind the wall. She couldn't comprehend whether it is a sad smile or a wicked grin or maybe both. One thing for sure, this man is dangerous. And Irene mentally noted to let her defence awaken.
Before the man left, Irene heard him talking once again, "Ah, I almost forgot. I've prepared a meal for you. Please eat" She turns her head to the food cover then heard a thud of the door closing. Irene has assumed that the guy is nowhere there anymore. She lifts the white piece of cloth and greeted by a hot meal in a white bowl and a spoon sits beside it.
'Burnt rice porridge?'
* * * *
Chaeyoung has been cleaning out their upper back bedroom, a room that sits virtually empty. When he's done, Mina approaches him with a glass of water and a bucket of paintbrushes. Since they have an empty place in their bedroom, the couple decides to make the room specifically for their child. Hence, the first step is to decorate the room for the baby.
"You know, you can leave it to me," Chaeyoung says as he put on the neck loop of the apron on mina and tie it in a knot. Mina smiles and does the same, stealing the chance to hug him while she crosses the apron's tie behind him. Chaeyoung wraps his arms around her waist. He playfully sways their body side to side, letting the nurturing touch of a hug get them out of circular thinking and connect them with their heart and their feelings and their breath.
"Let me be. I want to paint too" Mina finally pulls out and raise her chin, pouting as she looks at him. Chaeyoung bites his smiles and follows the girl, pushing his bottom's lips forward while shaking his head in disapproval. Mina whine but soon replaced with a little smirk on her face. Chaeyoung is about to say something, but Mina reaches out and silences him with a quick peck on the lips.
Mina laughs and breaks the hug as she brushes past the stunned guy, rooted in his place. She walks across the room to pick up a drop cloth, gloves, and straight-edge screwdriver then return to the cub.
"Here," She hands the screwdriver to him while gesturing to the paint can by the wall.
"That's a foul" Chaeyoung mutters, talking about how brave she is. Teasing his weakness. He sighs and shakes his head as he pries open the lid of one can, once he has tossed the lid aside, a whiff of chlorine and a strong sense of aerosol filling the room. He stirs the paint carefully, dips the brush, and pour it into the paint tray.
Mina takes the rollers while Chaeyoung shows her the sketches he has made for the painting, how he has plans to spray paint a bunch of colourful flowers with light pink as the background and on the other side of the wall shares the same background but with a shadow of a white oak tree and a drawing of a ballerina. Then the ceiling will be in sky blue with a small polka dot. He teaches her how to shades.
Chaeyoung starts the work by focusing on the left wall, painting the background while Mina is assigned on the other wall. Sometimes, he glances at her as he set up the spray gun. She stands on a step ladder in the room beside him. Other than being largely pregnant, she is slender. Her thin white arms are a stark contrast to the oversized, paint-spattered brown t-shirt that engulfs her stomach. Her hair is pulled back in a bun, but curly strands dances across her shoulder and upper arms. She wears no shoes, and stand on tiptoes to reach the highest part of the wall, stretching the arches of her tiny feet. She wears a concentrated, calm expression on her smooth face but it doesn't stay long when she fails to reach some part of the wall.
Hooking a foot around the opposing leg of the ladder to help anchor her, she leans further to the side. As she extends her arms, stretching her body to the limit "A little bit mo--accc!------" The final word mutates into a horror-stricken shriek when she tilts a fraction too far, throwing the ladder off balance. It pitches sideways, toppling her from her perch. Her hands instinctively wrap around her bump as the last resort to protect her baby.
Mina's life flashes before her eyes as she plummeted, her speedy descent ends abruptly and painlessly as the ladder hit with an ear-splitting crash. Stunned that she has miraculously avoided the same messy fate, she opens her eyes to discover she has landed in a pair of sturdy arms.
Chaeyoung's expression is troubled. His cheeks muscle stand out as a result of his clenched teeth. He holds her tighter in his arms, one arm under her legs and the other supporting her back.
Spontaneously, she buries her face in the crook of his neck where his arms already encircled around it, as she is in the middle of a desperate hug. The horror completely paralyzed her. She doesn't remember being that scared in her life. The thought of what if's Chaeyoung hasn't come in time, she'll definitely in severe injury and only within her knowledge, she herself and her baby almost get killed. The idea of the impact it could bring only makes it worse.
She catches her breath and draws away, her thoughts processes sluggishly returned to its normal settings where Chaeyoung is concerned----afraid and upsetting ambivalence. She chuckles awkwardly, snaking his hands from around his neck and presses them against his chest. His eyebrows dip further and Mina becomes aware of blood vessel pulsing in his temple. He's probably mad, upset and most importantly disappointed.
"I'm sorry" She mumbles, avoiding his eyes.
Chaeyoung could hear the quiver in her voice. His face softens as he let out a sigh. Contrary to what she thought that he's mad, the guy isn't at all. He blames himself for not helping her beforehand, disappointed at himself that he isn't mindful enough to stop Mina from using the ladder.
Mina sneaks a brief peek at his face, smiling when she sees his expression eased. She gives him a thank-you-for-saving-me-kiss on the cheeks. "I'll just watch then. I-I realize I'm no feather" She laughs.
"Yes, you are, more like a sack of wet cement" Chaeyoung shakes his head as the penguin swings her feet in annoyance because of his savage statement, making it harder for him to carry her to the only single chair in the corner of the room. He carefully lowering her down then draws a circle around the chair. "No ketchup for a week if you cross this line" Chaeyoung threaten, pointing to the line. Sulking, Mina cross her arms and refuse to look at him.
"Do you hurt yourself somewhere?" He adds, examining her when the girl doesn't answer him. After he has made sure that she's fine, Chaeyoung continues the works and by now only the ceiling left. He climbs the ladder up to the ceiling and uses the paint can lid as a stencil to trace out the polka dots circles on the ceiling with a lead pencil.
Chaeyoung dismounts the ladder and wipes his sweat with his gloves. He places his hand on his waist as the tiredness takes over him. He turns around, eyes finding Mina but expectedly he's meet with a wet sponge swimming in a paint hitting his face. He groans as he forces himself to open his eyes after that sticky liquid only to witness Mina with her tongue sticking out, mocking him before she runs away.
"That penguin" He huffs though he already predicts that Mina won't stay still on the chair and he's gratefully right.
* * * *
"No ketchup for a week," Chaeyoung says as he put the omelette rice on the dining table in front of Mina, usually her name and a small heart will be drawn on top of the egg using ketchup but now it just plain nothing.
Mina scoff and proceeds to eat while the guy secretly smiles. After all, ketchup isn't safe for pregnancy, since it can be contaminated with the Listeria virus--words from the health care provider which Chaeyoung has planted inside his mind.
They eat in silence, then a chorus of birds breaks the drone of the city traffic. Sunlight shines behind the glassy slides door warming the room. The autumn winds already blew keen and the mornings bring them to frost. A little more wait, autumn has sent a love letter to the winter to come.
"Let's watch the first snow together, hmm?" Chaeyoung asks, lightly tapping the table.
Mina keeps her mouth shut, not minding him. Looking as if she's in deep thought. He supposes that the girl probably still sulking about her ketchup hiatus. Chuckling, the Cub moves to her side bringing his meal together with him. He purposely nug her elbow, causing the penguin to glare at him.
"Now, now I'll get you an ice cream." He softly says, tucking away a strand of hair behind Mina's brown long hair.
Mina scoff and put the utensil down, turning to fully face the guy "Are you kidding me? Do you think I'm a kid?" She rage, slightly frowning.
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"Thank you" Mina smiles excitedly to the vendor as she reaches up with two hands to take the ice cream cone. She got herself a soft vanilla ice cream from the ice cream truck parked up the street, with a group of children surrounds it and they are the only young adult that stands out around that tiny kids. Mina happily waddles away, swinging her hand as she started towards the park.
Chaeyoung clears his throat, trying to force himself to act casual but failed in hiding his knowing grin. After paying for them and treating the children, he walks over to the bench and sits down next to Mina, who has a little circle of vanilla cream starting to form around her mouth. Chaeyoung decides not to wipe it off just yet. Let her enjoy it. He thinks.
When they finish, Chaeyoung wipes her lips with his handkerchief then runs over to the trash can to throws out the used napkins. "Let's buy baby clothes?" He suggested while intertwining their hands, walking leisurely to his car. Mina nods and hugs his arms, seeming like she has forgotten her ketchup.
They spend the day shopping for the baby, got all the bottles, got tons of diapers, got the crib and put it all together. They're basically putting together the nursery for the baby. Coloured in mostly pink because their baby is for sure a girl. They even get all the little things, the mobile over the crib and little toys-- which they have wasted an hour because Chaeyoung is having too much fun in the toy store, looking as if the toy is for him.
At the same time, Chaeyoung is building the crib and arranging the nursery just right, Mina is elsewhere buying baby clothes of course. Not just typical pyjamas, tops, pants, socks, etc. She is buying the best of everything, spending hundreds thousand of won, not to anyone surprise or Chaeyoung's, naturally. Part of him wants to tell Mina that they don't have to spend all the money on clothes, there are much more other important things but Mina is just too excited and he doesn't really mind when it comes to the brunette and their first child.
Luckily for Chaeyoung, Mina is only hormonal during her first trimester. When she is getting bigger, her mood changing becomes less severe. As for the due date, it is rapidly approaching, late December to be specific, two months left. They still have yet to decide names for their baby. Hence, later that afternoon, after they've done shopping, Mina brings up the topic as she rests on the bed, leaning against the headboard "Chaeyoungie, we haven't yet named the baby" Mina says. Chaeyoung who's arranging Iberis flowers in the vase halt then tilts his head to the side, thinking for a name.
"How about you? Do have any in mind?" He asks the girl but receives a simple no. Indeed Mina has been thinking about it a lot but nothing comes to her liking. She couldn't find any nice name and thought the job is better given to Chaeyoung since the guy is a literatus. A man with letters.
Chaeyoung hums and walks to the window, he eyed the yard where the colourful flowers gracefully bloom. His gaze then caught the empty large wooden box where Lilies were once tight-budded. Chaeyoung smiles and turns around, looking at Mina.
"Lily"
* * * *
Twilight has fallen, only the faintest of light shines through the leaves and soon it grows dark. Chaeyoung is in a state of shocks as Irene gives him her resignation letter. Though Chaeyoung has already excuse her absence this past few days--thinking that the maid probably encounters some problem, Irene suddenly appears just to inform him that she hopes to quit the job and thank the guy for his care.
"If that's what you want, then I can't stop you," Chaeyoung says then walk to his room. Soon after he's back with a white envelope in his hand containing some cheque--more than her salary should be. Irene, knowing what inside politely push his hand and smiles.
"I am thankful for your kindness, but since I didn't come to work, there shouldn't be any payment for this month." She bows and still determines not to take the money no matter how many time the guy persuade her. "Can I have a small talk with Mina-sii?"
Chaeyoung sigh because she refuses the money when he sincerely hopes it can help her in the future. He puts the envelope on the table and smiles as he points upstairs where Mina is currently reading a book in their room. Irene reciprocated the smile but instead of climbing the stairs, she walks herself to the kitchen.
Irene glance to her side, relief that Chaeyoung isn't following her. She prepares a warm glass of water and takes out the last two packet of white powder inside her handbag. She busies herself, pouring the powder inside and quickly stir it with a spoon, her trembles hand almost causing the glass to slip from her hands. Each click of the metal spoon hitting the surface of the glass echoed the tumultuous thudding of her heartbeat. Her face is rigid with tension. Another quick glance to her side, Chaeyoung is suddenly behind her.
"What are you doing? What's that?" He question, brows connected as his eyes is on the glass.
Irene takes a step backwards and furiously glance at him. With hands clasped tightly in front of her stomach, she constantly fiddles with her knuckles. She swallows her gut and smiles "I'm just preparing iron supplement for Mina-sii. I heard she develop anaemia, so for the last time I want to prepare her medicine."
Chaeyoung squint his eyes and the look of him show a slight suspicion but it only lasts for a few seconds before a wide smile crosses his cheeks. "As always, I'm the one who should be grateful. You shouldn't have. But thank you so much. I appreciate it Irene-sii"
Irene nods and walks upstairs. She glances at him and the guilt comes attacking her straight to her brain. She prays that one day she would feel removed from her sin, washed clean of it, but the guilt is a stain on her, an ugly scar. Only in her silent prayers could she speak her heart to God and beg for His mercy. But, what she had done she could not undo and what she has started needs to be done. If not, then no-one is stepping up to defend his father's case, feed her younger brother, help her mother and.....it also because of him, Chaeyoung.
"Are you leaving?" Mina asks as Irene finishes explaining. Though they aren't really in a good term from their last talk, still, Mina has her respect towards the older and still sees her as her senior sister. Irene nods as the answer to Mina's previous question. The younger sigh but soon smiles as she takes the glass of water that Irene offers and drink it all. "Thank you for the medicine...and everything"
Irene only nods then wordlessly leave the room. Her eyes are dull and empty as she steals a glance at Mina. Her movements are forced when she closes the door, shoulder slumped and dragged steps towards the first floor. Chaeyoung wants to send her to her house but Irene once again refuses, only letting the guy walks her up to his porch.
She bows again and about to leave but halt when she feels a tap on her shoulder. Chaeyoung smiles and leans closer to brush her bang that slightly poking her eyes. Instead of backing away, Irene standstill as she let his finger graze her forehead. He doesn't stop breathing when their face barely touches, nor there's awkwardness that takes over them. It's a normal gesture one's makes to anyone they comfortable with, showing that there's a place for her in his life.
Irene has her eyes shut, capturing the moment. It's painful that she already misses it even when she's still breathing in it. Not to your memory or maybe even Chaeyoung that this scene has happened once, but in a complete version---in their first meeting, where she helps him to get rid of the carrot peels on his forehead.
"Right there," Chaeyoung says as he withdraws. Irene smiles and thanks him, unexpectedly giving him a hug. The guy smiles warmly and taps her back, comforting her when he can feel water drops on his shoulder. However, as they pull away, only traces of tears left on her cheeks. They bid goodbye as Chaeyoung nods then sadly smile as he watches her figure getting further then disappear from his sight.
"I hope we'll meet again, Irene-sii"
* * * *
The night rides in on a horse of pure midnight velvet, beckoned by the stars under the glow of a full moon. Chaeyoung has his arms wraps around Mina as the penguin sits in the space between his legs. A blanket draped around them as a shield from the cooling breeze. The blinding city lights gradually subsided ever so subtly, filling the shadow-emitted sky with a pleasant silence.
They sit in the shade of an Apple tree that suspended its branches over the edges of the patio where in front of it is a hand-built bonfire just off the patio surface. Seats, cushions, and most importantly, penguin's plushie is arranged well and many different types of vegetable are set aside for a meal. Chicken is roasted and they eat together while having a small talk.
Mina glance at her wristwatch as they finish eating and back to their position, watching the starlight sings in infinite patterns. She glances at him, where Chaeyoung rests his chin above her shoulder. It's a look full of doubt, confusion, and hesitancy. She's waiting, waiting for Chaeyoung to tell her. After all, he needs to leave before midnight.
An hour before 12.
Chaeyoung is humming a lullaby while caressing Mina's bump. Still, in the patio, Chaeyoung doesn't say anything while Mina becomes more and more anxious but at the same time happy. Happy that they spend more time together, happy that Chaeyoung is there. The due is nearing and she's afraid that this will be the last time she ever sees him. No one knows how long Chaeyoung will take and when he's going to return, it can be after labour where she's probably won't be there, welcoming him.
30 minutes before 12.
"Min--"
"Chaeyou---"
Both chuckle when they call for each other at the same time. "What is it?" Mina asks, placing her hand above his as she sinks deeper in his arms.
"I have a dream," Chaeyoung says, softly whispering.
"Dream?"
The guy nods and from Mina's peripheral view, she could see his plump lips lift upward and his dimples wrinkles but it doesn't reach his dark eyes. They are lit with sadness, and the forced expression of the contrary on his mouth would have looked comical to Mina if it doesn't make her heart feel more and more heavier. For a few moments, Mina stares at him, almost sure his expression mirrored hers. It breaks her heart. She doesn't want him to leave. To be the smile that squeezed his chest somewhere far away. She doesn't want him to go. Wanting those smile to stay.
"You see, I'll build a wooden playhouse there in the yard. A place where our little bean will play around with her friend, making childhood memories. I'll work in the company and she'll be ready for kindergarten. You'll always scold us for waking up late, glaring at us with your wooden knot tying tool to threaten us to eat breakfast though we're late. In the weekends, we'll spend time together, our little bean will tell us everything she experienced in her preschool, we'll gardening together and at the end of the day, I'll read her a book to sleep then you'll sing a lullaby for our little bean. She'll be a smart kid, cause you are strict when it comes to education, talented because you'll teach her how to dance, Mina, you'll be a great mother." Chaeyoung smiles. The prettiest smiles he has ever worn, for it extends to his eyes and deep into his soul. He's purely happy and the dark eyes are nowhere to be seen.
"That's my dream, for us to be a happy family" Chaeyoung ends his talk, and squeeze a little tighter, pulling Mina closer to him. In that embrace, he cocooned her better than any butterfly-to-be. His smile though died when his eyes found Mina. The girl silently, let out the pearl-shaped tears that roll down her cheeks then small sniffles are heard. Chaeyoung instantly moves to her front and sits across the girl.
"Did I say something wrong?" He asks, worriedly wipes her tears with his thumb and pull her into a hug. He cooed her and caress Mina's hair when the girl doesn't say a word but let slow desolate tears run from her unblinking eyes and drips steadily into her nightshirt. The tip of her nose grows red so do her face, unable to speak, to breathe, nothing. The weight in her chest is too heavy and the padlock in her throat has no keys.
'I'm scared Chaeyoungie'
'I'm scared I'm not going to be there in your dream'
'I don't want you to leave'
'I don't want to be separated with you'
Mina's grip tighten. Her hug is stronger than anything Chaeyoung has ever known, as if holding him isn't quite enough. Mina wants to feel every ounce that he's press into every ounce that is hers. Rather than affection, the hug is tenser and symbolize differently, a hug of a small kid will give to her mother when she left the small kid on the first day of preschool.
"It's okay, Chaeyoungie" Mina breathe more slowly, her body melting into his embrace as every muscle lost its tension to the autumn breeze. She knows Chaeyoung don't have the heart to tell her up front and predicts that he'll leave a letter when she's asleep and left her, which exactly what Chaeyoung has in mind. Mina doesn't want a separation with no goodbye nor a proper talk. Seeing him get away from her will cause her to carry inexplicable pain. But sooner or later it will happen. Why bother to fight? To avoid?
Chaeyoung feels a germ seed of depression sits inside him, continuing to grow and sends out roots to choke the hope out of his heart. A hope that he'll always be there for her, through her hard time.
Mina pulls away, a faint wide smile curved her lips causing her eyes to form a crescent moon shape only to let the beads of water trailing one after another.
"You can go. I'll be waiting"
* * * *
Chaeyoung stares at the sleeping penguin in his arms. It's already midnight, past 12. The guy ignores the fact that he's late and that he's badly needed in America. His only attention is on the girl in front of her. Never crosses his mind that the girl overhead his conversation with his father. Thinking about it, now he knows why Mina seems to be different and anxious today. Chaeyoung wipes tears stain on her cheeks gently where his thumb accidentally brushes her lips.
"Kiss me"
Chaeyoung's eyes widen when Mina suddenly open her eyes. They stare into each other as Mina's words are still processing inside his mind.
"Mina" He whispers slowly, prolonging each letter as if to savour them. Mina smiles, her heart fluttering at his voice. She clasps her hands on either side of his face. She draws him toward her with her eyes. Chaeyoung inclined his face toward hers as she leans closer, her sleepy eyes closing.
Chaeyoung bent back her head across his arm and kiss her, softly at first, and then with a swift gradation of intensity that made her cling to him, as his hands wrap around her waist while hers locked around his neck pulling him down slightly. His insistent mouth is parting her shaking lips where it's firm against hers, but the kiss remained soft, gentle, slow and she knows she's kissing him back. They hold it for a few seconds before their lips begin to move in perfect sync, slowly, cautiously. Almost like catching a smile in a bottle, its softness, its sweetness. Mina forgets just how gentle the guy is and the way he tastes like cotton candy and midnights under turning galaxies.
His entire body has been taken over by the overwhelming feeling of sadness, combined with eccentric fear and lust. From the negative space between them, he could feel waters dripping to his face, down to their locked lips where he could taste the saltiness. Both from his and Mina's tears. Chaeyoung moves his hand from her waist to the back of her head, his fingers tangling in her long, dark chocolate hair and lightly pulling her, adding more pressure to their lips.
It's with that one kiss that Mina knows is too deep. His lips are not foreign to touch hers. For him, it's a goodbye and for Mina, it's a reason to hold on. She can feel herself tremble. Feels like a coward and selfish as in that moment, she regrets her decision to let him go. She wants him all by herself.
When they break apart for air, Mina rests her forehead against his and gathers some much-needed oxygen as she sobs and those thick streams running down to her chin. He draws back and spends a moment studying her face, gazing at her lovingly. His eyes softening with tenderness.
No words are spoken but a story worthy of them is communicated.
Mina sinks into his hold and dips her face on his solid chest while the guy places his chin above her head, stroking her hair. "Leaves when I'm asleep" She mumbles against him. Chaeyoung takes note of it then hums a ballad song as he continues caressing her hair.
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Mina never thought silence would be considered warm but there she is laying in her bed prepared to be sweep away by the hope that her sleep would be filled by light. Her swollen eyes start to get sore and painful as her consciousness ebbed. She feels this blackness come over her. Like a blanket, but not a blanket of warmth but a blanket of coldness making her shiver. But somehow it's making her eyes feel heavier and heavier. No matter how bad she wants to stay awake, just for a little bit more time with him, but her mind dragged her into the oblivion of sleep.
Chaeyoung sigh when he has makes sure that the girl is in dreamland and slowly peels himself off and tucked her under the duvet. He prepares all the document he needs, putting it inside his black backpack then ring Sana and Tzuyu to accompany Mina through the night. After packing all the papers, he returns to Mina and sits on the edge of the bed. He holds her hand while waiting for the girl's older sister.
Soon after, he heard a car pulled into the parking space and he has guessed it's Sana and Tzuyu. Chaeyoung smiles bitterly and turns his gaze to Mina, the guy leans in and lightly kiss her eyes.
"I love you" He whispers then trails his eyes to Mina's bump. He caresses it and lightly kisses her stomach as if he's biding his goodbye to their baby. "Little bean, take care of your mother, okay" He smiles and slowly pulls his hand away from Mina's grasp but to his surprise, the girl catches his finger and pull it back towards her. In that split of a second, Chaeyoung wants to take off his backpack and lay down beside her, deciding to stay. But before his thought registered and his action follows, Mina slowly loosens her grip and turns around, facing the other side.
Chaeyoung sigh and brings his hands to his pocket, digging out the dark blue velvet ring box that always with him. He opens the small box revealing a gold eternity rings. He takes them out and wears one then put the other beside Mina's pillow. "It's a promise ring. When you look at it, I hope it reminds you of my promises to never stop loving you and that my heart will always be true" He says softly then stands. Chaeyoung knows the more he's contemplating, the farewell seems to be impossible and more painful. Hence, without a single glance, he leaves the room.
* * * *
"Is there something wrong?" Tzuyu asks when Chaeyoung hasn't moved from his place for over an hour. He clasps the strap of his bag tightly and turns to Tzuyu. The look of his face is restless when his eyes quiver and he couldn't stop from chewing his inner cheeks. He's having a constant sense of fear, even when there's nothing to be scared of, but it seems like his mind telling him differently that there is something to worry about.
"I.....I have a bad feeling about this, Tzuyu-yah" Chaeyoung confess, stating the suffocating feeling of dread and foreboding that affects him. He leaves with no choice as the director of the project he once assigned suddenly went missing together with the acknowledgement of the receipt issued through internet banking as the proof of income payment tax and over billions of dollars are burns. As someone who's responsible, his presence is desperately needed. Trapped, it feels wrong, as if another step will cause him to lose everything he has left behind just because of his 'responsibility'
"We'll take care of Mina-noona, you don't have to worry" Tzuyu pat his brother's shoulder, assuring him that he's probably overthinking. The younger lightly push him when someone approaching them, their father's secretary. Specially assigned to assist Chaeyoung in boarding their personal jet plane.
Chaeyoung presses his lips, then sigh for the nth time. He forces a smile, and lightly punch Tzuyu's arms. "Then, I'm relying on you. Take care of her well." With that, he pushes his legs to moves though the more steps he takes the heavier he feels. Chaeyoung shakes his head to brush the negative thoughts, thinking he's being paranoid. He let out a big lump of air and tries to think positively.
"I hope there is a happy ending awaiting us, Mina yah"
End of Withered Chapter 54. Continue reading Chapter 55 or return to Withered book page.